Why I Am Not Enlightened
I finally figured out why I'm not enlightened. Over 30 years ago, when I had just made the proverbial first step on a "journey of a thousand miles" I heard the following well-known tale: A man approaches a Zen Master and asks to be shown the path to enlightenment. The Master replies, "Okay, follow me," stands up, and walks the man to a nearby river and into the water. Without warning, the Master forces the man's head under the water and holds it there as he struggles violently for his life, until he is nearly dead. At last the Master pulls the man up, gasping for air, and says, "When you want to be enlightened as badly as you wanted to take your next breath just now, come back and see me."
At the time, as a youthful spiritual adventurer, the story inspired me and got me fired up, and fueled the years of seeking, meditating, and exotic travels to distant lands that followed. Yet now, looking back, I'm wondering if I could have saved myself a lot of trouble had I simply answered the question implied by that story honestly: No. No I do not want to get enlightened more than life itself, more than I would crave my next breath in that situation.
Again and again in the spiritual literature, and particularly in the fierce world of Zen, we come across stories that are similar. In ancient China, it is said that Hui-ka came to Bodhidharma's cave and waited for the monk to accept him. After standing there for days with no sign of the teacher coming out to greet him, it began snowing. When the snow had reached to Hui's waist, Bodhidharma finally came out and asked,
"What is it you want?"
"My mind is not at ease," Hui replied.
"The Way is long and difficult," said Bodhi, dismissing him.
Hui took out his sword and chopped off his left arm and handed it to the Master, and was accepted.
Another tale tells of the Zen master who was once threatened by a gruff Samurai holding a sword over him, saying, "Don't you know who I am? I am someone who could cut your head off without a second thought or batting an eye," to which the Master replied, "And don't you know who I am? I am someone who could offer you his head to cut off without a second thought or batting an eye."
In one of his previous incarnations, the Buddha is said to have offered his body as food for a hungry tiger.
And so forth and so on; the message seems to be that enlightenment, or the realization of Truth, is not a casual affair for mere spiritual tourists, but only for the very rare individual willing to sacrifice any and everything, including his or her very life, in its pursuit.
Alas, most of us, myself included, are merely in search of, at best, "feeling better," while possibly surrounding ourselves with consoling aphorisms and beliefs, incense, and countless books on esoteric subjects written by others who themselves have not made the final cut, so to speak. (The late Douglas Harding, one of the few who seemed to know of what he spoke, titled one of his books, On Having No Head). But let's face it: of all the people that you and I know who have spent a good deal of their lives sitting on meditation cushions, chanting in Sanskrit, gulping psychedelics like M & Ms, and subscribing to The Yoga Journal, how many have achieved the pinnacle of human possibility that all of the great spiritual teachings insist is available to anyone, if only we wanted it as badly as air and life itself?
It would mean putting enlightenment at the top of our To-Do list and priorities, ahead of career, family, comfort and security, things which, speaking for myself, actually comprise some of my favorite parts of being alive. In the Christian world, of course, Jesus was a "fisher of men" and told them to put down their nets right then and there and "follow me." Like the Moonies in the early days, those who joined up never even called home or checked in with their parents. (Perhaps today the families of Peter, Judas and the rest would kidnap them and deliver them to a deprogrammer). Same for the monks who divested themselves of all worldly goods and personal attachments to traipse through the forest with the Buddha. The Jews, naturally, didn't have much choice. Following Moses into the desert for 40 years seemed at first as if it would definitely be a step up from brutal slavery, but a lot of them bitched and moaned about it anyway. Even they didn't always want their freedom more than the familiarity of the less than optimal life they knew.
Ram Dass once spoke of a picture he saw in the newspaper of an abused and battered infant wailing as it was taken out of the arms of its mother, reaching back desperately for its abuser. The message was clear: we are wired to choose the familiar and the comfortable at any cost. I attended a two-week retreat in Rishikesh, India with contemporary guru Andrew Cohen once, and he made it crystal clear at the outset that it was imperative that we "want to be free more than anything else," and that we needed to be "deadly serious about it." I've never really been deadly serious about anything (except maybe my record collection) so that put me off a bit, especially since the most enlightened people I had come into contact with over the years always had at least one thing in common: they laughed uproariously and often. (Actually, to be fair, so did Andrew.)
I recently finished reading Spiritual Warfare by Jed McKenna, who, like Andrew and many others who walk among us these days, presents himself as someone who is "done," in the sense that prior to enlightenment, we are all perpetually in a state of "becoming," as distinct from finally being released into the vast mystery of Present Being, with no further demands of life, only curiosity and radical amazement. Jed is done with all becoming. So he, too, naturally, makes statements like, "All that's required is an arm and a leg? That's it?" He can't believe his good fortune to learn that "waking up" is such a bargain. Living without a few limbs, he says, is far preferable to even one more moment of living a lie.
Okay, I think I've made my point: the reason I am not enlightened after all these years is that I value my arms and legs too much, not to mention my wife and family, and last but not least, air. (My favorite.)
Now, for the opposing view: the most provocative statement I ever heard Werner Erhard make-yes I know he is controversial and either adored or despised, but this is worth considering-was that over the years, he had witnessed thousands of people literally give up everything in their pursuit of enlightenment. He had seen them give up their jobs, their families, spend their fortunes, devote years of their time, meditate until their knees were destroyed, "ANYTHING," he said, "except the ONE THING required in order to be enlightened. That, no one will give up." He paused for emphasis, then shouted, as was his style, "PEOPLE WILL NOT GIVE UP THAT THEY ARE NOT ENLIGHTENED. IT'S TOO TERRIBLE TO GIVE THAT ONE UP! THEY HAVE TOO MUCH FUN DOING THINGS THAT ARE GOING TO ENLIGHTEN THEM!" He went on in a softer voice, "Now, did I just say you shouldn't do things that are going to enlighten you? No; do them. But do them because it's fun to do them! I would do them. I do do them. But not because they're going to enlighten anyone. You can't get enlightened. But you can be enlightened."
It's the perennial paradox. There are many spiritual teachers and schools of thought who remind us continuously that, "this is it," that we are, each of us, always already enlightened. That it is impossible to be otherwise, and any effort whatsoever in the direction of enlightenment can only, by definition, be a journey further from it, since it is where, unbeknownst to us, we are starting out from. A religious way of stating this would be to say that we are always already in the Presence of God. If God is Omnipresent, the Source and Substance of Everything/Everywhere, (and for the non-dual people, also the Non-Source and Non-Substance of Nothing/Nowhere, and really neither of those two, nor both; confused yet?) then there is absolutely nothing any of us could do, obviously, to either bring in or remove God from the scene.
Our True Nature is who we already are, not something we can become or attain in the future. The paradox becomes that we somehow don't recognize this fact and spend years searching for something that was never lost, and if we're fortunate, we'll run into a teacher along the way who will simply, as the Tibetan Dzogchen tradition puts it, "point out" what is perfectly obvious. Jed McKenna calls it "opening your eyes," Gurdjieff and many others refer to it as "waking up." It has been called God-Realization, Self-Realization, Enlightenment, Liberation, or simply being real and authentic, resting in the center of our original, True Nature and living life from that place rather than looking for it.
So those seem to be our two main choices: Either we're presently, already enlightened and simply don't know it, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that can help us achieve the recognition that there is nothing to achieve; or, we're clearly very far from enlightenment and we need to be willing to sacrifice our very lives to get to the Truth, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that will help us achieve that. In either case, good luck! In the meantime, it seems to me that it behooves us spiritual seekers to get on with our day.
Image by quinet, courtesy of Creative Commons license.
Tweet- 10-20-10
- Eliezer Sobel's blog
- Login or register to post comments
- Printer-friendly version
Comments
Enlightened ... or Enlightenment
"Maya" is the Sanskrit termed used in both Buddhist and Vedic cultures .. literally meaning "that which is not" ... like being chased by a tiger in a dream ... one wakes up in a cold sweat ... it was "that" ... that "which is not" ..
Having a "wet dream" .. same thing ... actually there in effect .. but causatively merely phantasmagorical.
One could ponder that all of our invested attachments are based on such mere transitory interactions between mind and matter ... real reactions in real time in relation to nothing more than passing fancy.
One can "wake up" from virtually any/all psycho-sociological interactions and their associated thoughts and feelings .. to the degree they have overwhelmed us.
One can leave Eden {and return} each and every moment.
As far as being "always enlightened" .. or always "in need of enlightenment" ... well like the sun is always full in light but sometimes covered by clouds or ecliptic moons ... our capacity for "knowing" {Cit in Sanskrit} is forever present .. knowledge never really gained, as if lost ... like clouds passing over the sun never really cover the sun
We can each relate to "A B C" or "do re mi" to the degree we already know of such ... communication literally means communing with what each other already knows.
As we are exposed to such principled stimuli we "enlighten the inherency" within .. 'hence understanding.
All beings are at least a little enlightened at every stage ... degree only ...
Enlightenment itself however being a more complete and mature realization ... being that there are no longer any tigers that will make one sweat in any stage of consciousness .. a highly achieved state of being ... impossible to really fake
No more Tigers
The statement that "there are no longer any tigers" once 'full' enlightenment has been reached .. TO ME seems somewhat eroneous.
REality is the dance between Emptiness and Form.
Enlightenment is NOT ONLY the state of Emptiness.
And the more attached one becomes to 'the state of no tigers' .. the more likely that Tigers will continue to manifest.
I also believe it is the idea that 'once one is fully enlightened everything is hunky dory' is one of the reasons why people continue to chase after some illusive State of Being.
In fact, I am convinced that these proverbial 'tigers' will continue to show up, in some cases at least just to give 'the enlightened' something to do.
What else are we going to do after all .. ?
great article
a God worth Adoring
Don't you know -- haven't you heard? -- that inside of your chest, there is a reflecting jewel?
Then why do you act -- as if tomorrow was such a terror?
Why so sullen, moapy, worn out, and dispossessed?
Come on, chin up, dear. Beautiful girl.
Don't you understand -- that you and I, are the precious children of the divine God?
I'm so tired, this body is worn out -- but that spark inside of you, your laughter, and your kiss, -- they bring me back.
Don't dispair; The dream calls. Listen to the celestial melody with me.., -- Can you hear? Let conscience sing songs of love.
We are dwellers in a divine universe where no desires are in vain, if only they be large enough.
enlightenment,
Gods in the Mud
The people that make the enlightened state out to be this prissy, clean, pretty god like world are simply attached to one of the realms (known as the God Realm) on the wheel of conditioned existence - pay them no mind, they are deluded.
Without harping on about it too much, one way of describing these aspects of human nature is to use the example of the Six Realms. (In traditional Buddhism these are described as seperate places .. but this is for practitioners of lesser capacity .. perfect for them, but not the hightest understanding)
From another perspective these Realms are symbolic representations of 'states of being' .. Each realm represents a particular emotion which can either be a poison, or a wisdom energy.
I won't go into it too much here but suffice it to say that these include Demons, Gods, Titans, Hungry Ghosts, Animals etc. and each of these are really just aspects inherent in all of us.
All of these need to integrated and expressed before we can claim to be free. This is why yogis and yoginnis are traditionally pictured with skulls around their necks to show that they have conquered these passions.
Once these 'passions' have been integrated one can express each of them without ever getting caught in it. After all, anger or ambition has its use, it is the manner in which we wield these emotions that matter.
God realm doesn't exist as anything other than an aspect of your self .. and those that are constantly trying to get 'there' are up for some nasty surprises, because attachment to the God Realm is still attachment .. and bound to lead to suffering sooner or later.
:)
Thx for the perspective
a real 'eye' opener!
thich nhat hahn prayer realted to essay philosophy
enlightenment
Werner
endarkenment
exemption from enlightenment
Great article!
I'm reminded of the kick ass Rob Brezsny's piece of wisdom, Certificate for Exemption from Enlightenment:
http://freewillastrology.com/beauty/beauty.main328.shtml
Gotta love it! :D
"There are only two ways to live your life: one as though nothing is a miracle, the other as if everything is a miracle. I believe the latter." --albert einstein
Enlivenment
Student: "Show me the way to enlightenment."
Master: "Do you hear that babbling brook?"
Student: "Yes."
Master: "Enter there."
"The SACRED (whatever that means) is surely related (somehow) to the BEAUTIFUL (whatever that means)..."
Gregory Bateson
ah so
babbling brook
sparkling cold splash
fills all
is all
no remainder
Yes
love is a place
& through this place of
love move
(with brightness of peace)
all places
yes is a world
& in this world of
yes live
(skillfully curled)
all worlds
e.e. cumings
"The SACRED (whatever that means) is surely related (somehow) to the BEAUTIFUL (whatever that means)..."
Gregory Bateson
Hung Up On A Dream
Embracing everything
Deadly Serious=Seriously Deadly
Ecstatic love, bliss, joy, wild laughter, dancing wildly...when we FEEL deeply, with abandon, the amazing, mysterious complexity of being alive...
Embracing without reservations all the opposites -suffering being transmuted into ecstatic joy - "Eternity is in love with time productions" William Blake
"The SACRED (whatever that means) is surely related (somehow) to the BEAUTIFUL (whatever that means)..."
Gregory Bateson
Very well said
'Either we're presently,
'Either we're presently, already enlightened and simply don't know it,.....or, we're clearly very far from enlightenment and we need to be willing to sacrifice our very lives to get to the Truth,'
Maybe it's preferable to believe we still have enlightenment, as some kind of eternal bliss ahead of us, to look forward to -What is enlightenment anyway and does it live up to the expectations associated with it?
Osho said - 'A Zen master was asked once, "Before you became enlightened you used to say that you were miserable. Now that you have become enlightened -- what is the state? In what state are you now?" The master said, "I was miserable before enlightenment and I am miserable after enlightenment!
....Before, I was miserable for myself, now I am miserable for others."
relax relax relax !!!
Enlightenment as a state of consciousness you can choose now
I would like to follow up on danletras' comments, and also a bit on enerbe, who seems to be in excitement about its opposite, relaxation :)
Enlightenment does sound like this big deal. And it's interesting to read your thoughts because I think they are very common, especially for people who have this comfortable environment of family and friends.
The concept of enlightenment does at first seem like something that would only be valuable for those who are wounded, hurt, for example through loss. Indeed, a good piece of wisdom to internalize is that, in the end, you lose everything anyway. People come to realize this at some point, even if it's their death bed. Enlightenment then seems like this liberation from all that misery.
It can also seem for those who have outlived the life of being a person. They had every pleasure imaginable, have gotten rich, famous, experienced the pleasure of being a king, rockstar or president or whatnot. And they discovered that in the end it's not all that interesting. That more than getting new things and new experiences they have lost contact with what was always there. The simple things, the breath and heartbeat, the whistling of the birds, the sounds of city life, just life in general. They thought that they had to live a life in a world that is relatively dead, and never realized that they were relatively dead in a cosmos that is highly vibrant and alive. And WHAM! There lies the immediate potential to get out of the mind-story of the 'I', out of the social drunkness and out of words going on in the head, and back to the simple senses that you already had as a baby. Back to reality in the here and now. It is as if we live our life as if we are characters in a movie, but we don't know how to leave the theater, wake up, and step out of the movie. It's like living life secondhand, through a mental word-filter, rather than firsthand, through the senses. Get back!
But why step out of the movie if it's enjoyable? You have all these characters, all these pleasures, and it's nice. I personally have been on voyages through states of consciousness, emotional, philosophical, and more transcendental, and what I've come to the conclusion is that indeed, enlightenment is nothing but awareness. Not just presence, but awareness of all that's going on, on a physical but also on a mental level. This is where heart meets mind, and everything dissolves in one state of being. You can call it ultimate relaxation, all stress disappears instantly, because 1. It's simply not there anymore and 2. you realize fully that nothing matters as much to have any stress about (this is the awareness part). You could also call it love, because in awareness of other's mind states and how they are polarized and distracted from their awareness, you are able to 'see' them - kind of like how the Na'vi chief in Avatar 'saw' the main protagonist - and you become able to love them and help them out of their worries and mental absorptions.
Enlightenment for the already satisfied person can offer that: a new state of consciousness that has you expand from your local life into something universal. It can make you aware of all things, and be able to love anyone or anything at any place and any time. Even if somebody would murder someone you love in front of your eyes, you would be able to express love rather than fear or hate, because you would be able to hold on to awareness of mind. The enlightened state is just a choice you can learn to make. It's an expansion. You don't have to choose the state, but it's there for you. And as you interact with it and explore its uses, you will probably come to find that it works, it radically changes things (for example through showing that there's two kinds of love), it can be uncomfortable at first, but it's the answer to everything.
It's quite like learning that a cold shower can be much nicer than a warm shower. The dichotomies simply disappear from life.
Mindfulness without goal or specific object
Great post !
I think this is a very valuable state.
***
Perhaps a precise 'technical' description of what you're suggesting would be:
MINDFULNESS,
but without a specific goal
or object(s) to be meditated on*
+
a cognisance of the context/circumstances ~ a 'birds-eye view' of the full confluence of factors at play in the current situation
(which has also been described by Theravada Buddhists as 'clear comprehension')
-yes?
________________________________________
* Whereas vipassana for example would be mindfulness that is aware of everything through the prism of (/as an expression of) 'the three marks': impermanence, not-self and 'no-final-satisfaction-ness'.
I think a good guide for what you're saying would be Gunaratana's Mindfulness in Plain English - though without the emphasis on the three marks.
Get Lost!
It wasn’t till after returning home from a trip to Delhi, India that I grasped the truth of what two different yogi’s had said to me…
On one occasion, after waiting in line for hours to ask my most pressing question, I was told by an enlightened but weary host, to “Fuck off!”
The next day, after enduring a numbing wait on an even longer line of would-be disciples, I finally got to ask my question of another enlightened, though obviously tired, individual who told me to “Get lost!”
I returned home feeling as if I had wasted all that time and money, but because of the expense I remained convinced that there must be a hidden message in there somewhere.
Eventually I learned that fucking off at work is a great way to stick it to the ass hole who signs my check every week, and when riding my motorcycle on the weekends, getting lost has now become my “destination” of choice.
Re: Getting Lost
When I was a naive young seeker of 25 or so, I waited on a long line to speak to Ram Dass, and when I finally got to the front of the line, I asked him if he was my Guru, and he looked at me disdainfully and said, "Grow up!"
It was great advice!
enlightenment
What is true enlightment?
bye bye to the seeming separation
so to speak...
...Necessity is the mother of enlightenment.
here here!
on both counts !
meat
..
CHILE
I love that quote from
In the end it is quite simple
"When you want to be enlightened as badly as you wanted to take your next breath just now, come back and see me."
The question pre-enlightenment is why is wanting to take that next breath instills so much fear and displeasure. What is it you're afraid of losing? This really is at the heart of it all. It is overcoming that fear, being willing to recognize we know nothing, that we are nothing, and simultaneously everything.
Enlightenment is that abyss over the edge. It doesn't preclude a career, or a life. Though it does change it's nature. It brings everything to question, as even when it's laughter, and drinks at a party that truth still lurks.
When an arm and a leg no longer matter, that is a scary thought they still do. Enlightenment is not a happy fun comfy place. It is not a permanent place.
Either we're presently, already enlightened and simply don't know it, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that can help us achieve the recognition that there is nothing to achieve; or, we're clearly very far from enlightenment and we need to be willing to sacrifice our very lives to get to the Truth, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that will help us achieve that.
Both are true, the truth/enlightenment is innate, though so is comfort. We are tied to inertia and to feeling peace. We create a world that keeps us entertained. Though when we pull back the layers to get the raw meat of ourselves, when we cut that all off we discover the truth was there all along.
Then it becomes a matter of what we do with that knowledge, how much more comfortable it makes us with sacrifice, what it brings to light regarding what of the human condition we value and what we are willing to give to support that. We choose either to be willing to live in discomfort, or we choose blindness.
I never want to be blind, though often I have to clear my eyes.
~ Syn
with recognition we will grieve
that waking is the sorrow of ending dreams
In the end it is quite simple
"When you want to be enlightened as badly as you wanted to take your next breath just now, come back and see me."
The question pre-enlightenment is why is wanting to take that next breath instills so much fear and displeasure. What is it you're afraid of losing? This really is at the heart of it all. It is overcoming that fear, being willing to recognize we know nothing, that we are nothing, and simultaneously everything.
Enlightenment is that abyss over the edge. It doesn't preclude a career, or a life. Though it does change it's nature. It brings everything to question, as even when it's laughter, and drinks at a party that truth still lurks.
When an arm and a leg no longer matter, that is a scary thought they still do. Enlightenment is not a happy fun comfy place. It is not a permanent place.
Either we're presently, already enlightened and simply don't know it, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that can help us achieve the recognition that there is nothing to achieve; or, we're clearly very far from enlightenment and we need to be willing to sacrifice our very lives to get to the Truth, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that will help us achieve that.
Both are true, the truth/enlightenment is innate, though so is comfort. We are tied to inertia and to feeling peace. We create a world that keeps us entertained. Though when we pull back the layers to get the raw meat of ourselves, when we cut that all off we discover the truth was there all along.
Then it becomes a matter of what we do with that knowledge, how much more comfortable it makes us with sacrifice, what it brings to light regarding what of the human condition we value and what we are willing to give to support that. We choose either to be willing to live in discomfort, or we choose blindness.
I never want to be blind, though often I have to clear my eyes.
~ Syn
with recognition we will grieve
that waking is the sorrow of ending dreams
Awakening to What Is
The word Buddha means "awake"
The physical
I am more enlightened than You!
useless abstraction
To me the term "enlightenment" has become a useless abstraction, for many of the reasons explained in your article. I think the Western understanding of the word stems just as much from the idea of living according to "rationalism" (as in the 17th century Enlightenment) as it does from our conceptions of Eastern philosophy. More often than not, people who calls themselves "enlightened" are deceiving themselves—because it has no direct relation to the actual experience of living.
Recently I found a passages in Alan Watts's The Way of Zen that spoke about this sudden "enlightenment" in Zen Buddhism: "If nirvana is not to be found by grasping, there can be no question of approaching it by stages, by the slow process of accumulation of knowledge. It must be realized in a single flash of insight, which is tun wu, or, in Japanese, satori, the familiar Zen term for sudden awakening.
The problem is that knowledge does help us get through life and fulfill our true potential (and "nirvana" is just as abstract as "enlightenment"). So to avoid knowledge in hopes of becoming enlightened is a contradictory goal. There is some wisdom in the idea that we can attain instant awakening by realizing what's already within reach—but after seeing the "big picture," it takes some actual work to adjust how we perceive reality and how our own nervous system operates. Telling ourselves that some imaginary goal must happen immediately or never is not going to help anything.
On living in the world, here and now
On living...here & now
Practical/is good
We don't find enlightenment, it finds us
Fantastic article. I had a moment of enlightenment once and it had ripple effects that lasted for WEEKS, Months, years. But today I am not enlightened. It happened in a flash. In a blip out of time, this deep knowing flooded through my entire being. It was a very somatic experience and my body interpreted this information as some sort of shift like an ancient stone dial shifting a few degrees and locking into its true position. I didn't think my way there, I didn't solve some intricate equation; it just happened to me. It was as if God decided to touch me and say "Ah hah, you get a moment of clarity today." And I really can't stress this enough - my mind didn't solve the riddle of enlightenment. Realization just appeared in my body and uncovered itself to me. Yes the experience can be analyzed with the intellect, but as soon as that's done, it becomes the book and not the experience. I get how some people like Ekhart Tolle remain in an enlightened state. They actively get it, they are it in every aspect of their lives, not just in one or a few. And most of all, they aren't thinking enlightened. Enlightened thoughts are a result of an enlightened state but the thoughts don't create the state. Yeah, they think it for other people. They regurgitate their experience/ their being in words hoping to inspire the experience of enlightenment in us, but the words aren't IT. And at the end of the day, each of us have our own brand of enlightenment and our own path to it. We each are a part of the enlightened whole that is God. Maybe Gurmuk needs to meditate and empty her mind for 18 hours a day and empty her digestive system for 18 days a month to BE enlightened, and maybe John needs to lose his father before it touches him, and maybe Phan is ripped out of an enlightened state the moment he fears becoming attached to it.
"2012 is an inside job"
We don't find Enlightenment...
Dear Katy,
Because these others say they are "still enlightened" or know clever words does not mean they are, and because the initial flush of the experience has receded into the mundane of the everyday does not mean you are not.
God Bless You for not writing a book, going on tour and flogging a sacred and very personal experience to line your purse.
Sincerely,
Tom Finn
Trust the Teachers
Dear Eliezer, A while back I realized as you stated here (nice article by the way) that all Teachers, without exception say "we are already enlightened" or "perfect" or" the Kingdom of God is within us", ALL of them. So I decided to believe them. The End Love, Tom Finn
My experiences of the paradoxical human condition
So those seem to be our two main choices: Either we're presently, already enlightened and simply don't know it, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that can help us achieve the recognition that there is nothing to achieve; or, we're clearly very far from enlightenment and we need to be willing to sacrifice our very lives to get to the Truth, and there may or may not be teachers or methods that will help us achieve that. In either case, good luck!
A third option is that both of these perspectives are (to paraphrase the late RAW) true in some sense and false in some sense, and that the paradoxical nature of this inter-relationship reflects on the paradoxical nature of the quest to Be Here Now. On the one hand, if "enlightenment" is presented as something that is already present all the time, then habits of self-cherishing (i.e., "ego") will tend to equate themselves with "enlightenment" and prevent "enlightenment" from truly manifesting. On the other hand, if "enlightenment" is presented as something toward which one must strive diligently, then habits of self-cherishing will tend to convert this pursuit into another self-aggrandizing edifice and prevent "enlightenment" from truly manifesting.
This paradox is related to another paradoxical tension between "works" and "grace" (articulated in these terms by Christian Reformers, but found in most spiritual traditions). If salvation/enlightenment is a free gift (i.e., grace) then there is apparently no incentive to become a kinder, more compassionate person. If, on the other hand, one must work/strive toward salvation/enlightenment, then the quest is inevitably a futile one because you can't reach the transcendent through a series of mundane steps (and because you can't jump over your own shadow). To me the paradox is that authentic grace reveals the fragility and futility of self-cherishing while simultaneously empowering that same self to let go of the need for self-cherishing. This is the paradox of bhakti yoga, of union through devotion, of liberation through submission.
For a dharma-brother and good friend, the object of this devotion is Amida Buddha, the Buddha of infinite light and life, who vowed to bring all beings to his Pure Land if they called out to him once with pure faith. (Later interpreters, recognizing the paradoxical nature of the human condition, said that Amida even provided the pure faith, since all any human being could muster was "impure," selfish, faith. Talk about grace!) After decades of dutiful Zen and Vajrayana Buddhist meditation practice, my friend began to despair of ever finding the peace he sought. Eventually, he was drawn to the compassionate teaching of Pure Land Buddhism, the reconciliation of grace and effort, and became a Jodo Shinshu priest.
Ironically perhaps, it was my study and practice of Buddhism, initiated by my desire to "be a lamp unto myself," that lead me back to Christianity (of a sort). The more I studied Buddhism, the more clearly I saw the paradoxical nature of the self's quest to overcome the self, and the more I understood the emphasis on devotion. I too began to see how futile my quest seemed, as my meditation practices became yet another stick with which to beat my perfectionist self. As a recent e-mail from the Aro Ter lineage of Vajrayana Buddhism said, "There has to be some kind of energy [in practice] that is not primarily self-oriented, self-validating, or self-referencing." For the Vajrayana Buddhists, that energy comes through devotion to the guru and to the yidam, or tutelary deity. Try as I might, I could never muster enough devotion for the many-armed deities and all too human gurus with whom I studied. Eventually I realized that, for me, that other-oriented energy--my yidam or tutelary diety--my doorway through the paradoxes described above--was already present and that it took the form of the oft maligned Jesus of Nazareth.
Anyway, enough blah blah blah. May all be happy and free from pain and suffering.
On the Removal of Limbs in an Esoteric Allegory
Hui took out his sword and chopped off his left arm and handed it to the Master, and was accepted.
This is most likely not meant to be taken literally. Hui symbolically renounced the Left-Hand Path by removing his left arm, and was accepted by a Right-Hand Master. He could not be trusted with the teachings otherwise.
Already Enlightened
The 'dark' and the 'light' side of enlightenment.
Some observations ~ from someone who did spend 5 years investigating the nature of existence full-time, and another 5 until I had certainty.
(To avoid being long-winded, I'm going to drop the qualifications and just tell it as I see it:)
********************
ENLIGHTENMENT VS TRUE NATURE
* There IS a difference between 'enlightenment' and your 'true nature'. We are NOT all enlightened. We DO all have the same nature ~ the perfection of which can be understood when know it as a whole.
* In my experience, Enlightenment is:
the direct experience of the fundamental/indivisible aspects of Being, repeated (and often deepened) until you no longer have doubts.
Then the search ends.
(You "put the boat down"...)
********************
AWARENESS AND FORM, 'THE HINDUS' AND 'THE BUDDHISTS'
* There's both a light and a dark side to enlightenment...perfection and impossibility....Because you can discover two 'sides' of your nature:
> The 'side' emphasised by the Hindus and others: that your deepest essence is pure awareness ('The Self') - which is all-encompassing and all-pervading. It fills the universe, of your expererience. It is both EMPTY of any content in itself, yet effulgent with 'blissful' fullness (paradox, of course!). This is what you experience at death, and relaxation into this deepest self is probably what is meant by (Theravada) nirvana.
If you examine this carefully, you can see that you could not be something more PERFECT than this. So why seek further?
You could say this is the 'light' side of enlightenment.
> The 'side' emphasised by most of the Buddhists and others: impermanent FORM. Awareness can enjoy experiencing simply itself - which is intensely blissful and powerful (nirvana). But it's other 'function' - or really, CAPACITY - is to experience FORM.
The only thing is, when we are born into this dimension we are conditioned by parents and others to divide the world into objects. This is actually convenient and useful, but we aren't really taught that:
- the particular (division into) objects we 'create' do not inhere in the world AS SEPERATE OBJECTS, but only in our own mind
- so also the VALUES we ascribe to them (good/bad, favourable/unfavourable etc)
- and that (because of the vast web of interdependent-origination) all form is utterly impermanent ~ indeed every moment is unique...
When we realise deeply these things, we have smashed:
- all beliefs in the ability to arrive at a final state. form is mercurial and cannot be held, predicted or controlled with any ULTIMACY. It is also an absolute variety ~ which makes it as perfect as it can be.
- all beliefs in any 'ideologies' of ANY kind - because we know form is impermanent and we know that all objects and values are 'arbitrary'.
We now realise it is IMPOSSIBLE to find any final state of form - any perfect world. You could say this is the 'dark' side of enlightenment: we cannot find that 'shangrila' that we hoped for, because the universe is ever-changing, and without ultimate predictability or controllability. It is co-created by all beings and things - so we can influence it, but not determine it.
[Peripherally, the fact that objects and their qualities of being desirable/undesirable, good/bad and so on are 'in the eye of the beholder' not the 'object' itself means that each person's 'perfect world' is different anyway.]
(This is not to say there are not dimensions which could be described as 'heaven' - but that's a whole other story, and an important one. Refer to NDEs.)
Yet here too there is perfection: the variety is INFINITE in its potential for different forms. It is PARTIALLY controllable and predictable, but not completely. It is co-created by all.
..............................
Of course, awareness and form are actually ONE in EXPERIENCE - nondual.
When awareness experiences form, it does so in the same way that a cloth takes on dye - the two become indistinguishable.
What may not be so immediately apparent, is that awareness is in fact ultimately independent of form.
Although one of its main capacities is to reflect/experience form, it can exist without it and can never be ultimately changed by it.
No matter what dye the cloth takes, it is never damaged and it's capacity to take on a variety of colours remains.
********************
INSTANTANEOUS AND GRADUAL
"In the same way that gold is tested by melting, cutting and rubbing," one repeatedly re-experiences these realities until one attains such a deep certainty that there is no more interest in searching further: one has found.
********************
THE PATH OF NO DESIRE AND NO EGO
Doubtless there are specific paths which aim at arriving at a state of deep peace, through a profound process of giving up attachment to form, on the basis of its impermanence. Such a path MAY even be the path necessary to be able to remain in the nirvanic state that arises at death. It would also by definition lack any appearence of 'ego'.
(Though it should be noted that the experiential realisations outlined above will already make it clear there is no such thing as an 'ego', 'personality' or solid self per se. Awareness has no content in itself, and the thoughts that spring from it are a fleeting variety in exactly the same way as all other form.)
Yet, after deep analysis of this I've concluded that this is not a NECESSARY path - only a possible one. It should be realised that it is a SACRIFICE and possibly even a DESTRUCTION. We must give up the object-orientation entirely - including all goals and preferences (even though it's impossible even then to avoid 'seeing' objects). Undifferentiated oneness-bliss IS just that - undifferentiated. For me, this is destroying a 'system' that actually provides alot of the richness of life: it IS the adventure-maker, the story-maker.
But it is a CERTAINTY that it is not NECESSARY to go down that path - only POSSIBLE.
For myself, at this moment in time, knowing and experiencing the ultimate nature is enough - because of the qualities I'm about to outline. I see myself enjoying the 'grand cavalcade of existence' based on enjoyment, including desires, goals and preferences for quite awhile yet...one reason I'd really like to see people look after this planet alot better!
********************
THE BENEFITS OF ENLIGHTENMENT IN ACTUAL LIVING
Once you EXPERIENCE and thereby know the nature of things, you gain a deep certainty that there is no particular place to get to, or person to become - such things are both impossible and unncessary. You see the perfection that already exists in beings and the whole universe. Yet you are also free to have any goal and develop any inner quality you wish.
You also realise the utter simplicity and clarity of reality - which is why the masters speak of OMNISCIENCE. You know that WYSIWYG. Ultimate reality is simply the form appearing as awareness at any one moment: this colour-shape, sound, taste, thought etc. There is nothing 'behind it' - there is no veil. "This is it"
You're able to access at any time certain wonderful aspects of the true nature of the universe: a deep intimacy...boundless, incredible love...wonderment. You KNOW that you are always at HOME.
As a result of all this, you obtain an unassailable sense of peace and satisfaction/fulfillment that lies quietly below all the movement and colour of daily life - like the stillness of the deep oceannever touched by the waves above.
(Sometimes this is an actual concrete experience, but most of the time it is a simple, quiet knowing ~ similar to say, knowing that you have a million dollars in the bank.)
There are many other benefits which I don't have time to detail, but they include the ability to understand the way people think; to have real compassion for people based on understanding and love; and the ability to understand the nature of knowledge - and therefore use all of it without believing in it.
You also get a very clear understanding of the ABSOLUTE NECESSITY of ethics - the universe is absolutely interconnected and any wave you send out will come back to you. Kindness, compassion and understanding is NOT 'an option' if you want to avoid suffering.
Moreover, the knowledge of the true nature of yourself, others and the universe makes you WANT to be good and kind. Indeed, once you understand these things, the gratitude for this alone will make you want to do the right thing - as will the knowledge that others suffer unnecessarily to the extent that they haven't yet accessed that knowledge (which is their BIRTHRIGHT, not some special privilege).
********************
TRYING TO BE IN 'THE PRESENT'
OR FREE OF THOUGHT
- A 'TRAP'.
One brief extra thing I want to point out:
I feel it is unwise and not aligned with reality to get caught up in trying to fix yourself in certain states such as 'being in the present moment', being free of thoughts, and so on.
Fixations such as these are a cul-de-sac...a trap...a circle...
All form is mercurial - including all 'mental states' of any kind.
Only the mirror itself remains unchanging - and part of its capacity is to REFLECT. The only time you will experience utter stillness is death/nirvana.
Trying to fix yourself into ANY state - including some 'egoless' state - is like trying to stop a river rushing through your hands.
It will only lead to frustration.
As some great masters will tell you - ironically it is when you give up trying to control your states so much that you can enjoy a kind of peaceful flow (although this also depends on your past conditioning/karma/temperament...which is ALSO up to you to change if you wish).
While (shamatha/concentration) meditation is useful to temporarily expreince various states, it's pointless trying to MANIPULATE yourself into a permanent state of peaceful flow.
The way you experience that flow MORE OFTEN (or even almost all the time) is to examine reality (INSIGHT) - until you have certainty. You will also find the various Facets of Being are also yours to re-experience at any time you wish.
********************
HOW KEEN DO YOU NEED TO BE?
WHAT DO YOU NEED TO ADVANCE?
In regard to desire for enlightenment, speed of advancement and so on, a key point is this:
THERE IS NO ENLIGHTENMENT WITHOUT DEEP ETHICS.
The very nature of the universe is non-separation and inter-dependence, so you can't expect to deeply SEE that nature unless you align yourself with that reality.
To put it technically: you simply won't achieve 'the peace of mind' necessary to experience the deepest nature. The 'pond' will be swirling and dirty, rather than clear and limpid.
This is one MAJOR reason people don't experience realisation. They are kidding themselves' - to use a notion from teachers like Andrew Cohen. You really do need to be willing to honestly look at your beliefs and behaviours, particularly around the area of 'ego', but even more so around ETHICS.
...
It's also useful to take past lives into account: if you have practiced alot in a past life, you will have a more powerful intention and interest, more 'spiritual' values (the desire to benefit others, openess etc), more skill in meditation and more connections with (/attractions to) teachers and fellow practitioners.
...
All of these things will also contribute to your level of enthusiasm ~ hey, we like doing what we're good at and get results in, right?
Nevertheless, if your desire is a bit weak, there is nothing better than experiencing good RESULTS in your life to boost your enthusiasm.
The way to do that is probably a whole book in itself, but two things spring to mind - wisdom and love....
********************
TWO WINGS TO ENLIGHTENMENT
- NECESSARY FOR ANY PATH TO THE ULTIMATE
1. Be discerning and honest - use your intellect like a fine scalpel - one that will save your life or kill you. (As they say: "to follow a bad teaching/teacher is like eating poison"). Examine yourself and everything with rigorous intellectual honesty and rigor.
2. Be guided by the 'REALITY of LOVE': Anything that tends towards separation is on the wrong track (its based on illusion and leads to suffering). Anything that acknowledges non-separation is the right track (based on reality, and leading to good experiences). If you follow the beam of non-separation (including ethics), you will always find the right teachers, teachings and companions. This is why the 'bodhisattva' path is so powerful.
If you do these things, you cannot but experience your BIRTHRIGHT of love, bliss, power, intimacy, certainty, wonderment and joy.
********************
I don't ascribe to any particular tradition - but Buddhism, Hinduism, Christian Mysticism and Sufism all explain different facets of reality.
Please excuse any clumsy phrasing in what I've written.
********************
Have fun !