pshults36

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Member for

3 years 36 weeks

Biographical

Up until about a year ago (February 2007 to be exact) I was as almost every other person in todays society is:  materialistic, cynical, arrogant, ignorant, . . . the list goes on.  To put it simply my mind and inner-self were "shut off" or at the very least, being denied by the rational mind I was trained to maintain.  But that was to change quickly and devastatingly, for which (I can now say) I am all the more grateful. 

At age 14, as a new arrival to high school, I was just beginning to dabble in drugs, I began with the occasional night of drinking but it soon got old.  After that I began smoking marijuana and I fell in love but, of course, it led to other things.  I tried a whole range of drugs that were totally new to me. Cocaine, Salvia, Special K, and various prescription pills along with an overall steady consumption of marijuana.  Although they may seem like a cake walk to some, you have to understand that for a boy who had lived his whole life with nothing less than a 4.0 and a steady hatred of altered states of conscious and the advocates of them, this was altogether unheard of.

I took my first dose of LSD when I was 15.  After two unsuccessful tries I decided to try once more with an increased dose.  This inevitably led to my first step through that magical doorway to the infinite world we call the psychedelic experience.   At that time I had absolutely no idea what was happening, I had never even heard of spiritual effects from hallucinogens.  I simply thought that they created some rather pleasant imagery and were part of a recipe for a good time.  I spent 8 full hours drifting from heaven to hell and various worlds in between.  My mind had been completely blown, I had been completely liberated of all pretenses and left naked in the dark.  I felt that I had died.  From that day forward I had new priorities in life, being mostly solving the mystery that is life or at least achieving a good grasp on it (seeing that I clearly had no notion of what was going on around me).

After a little more than a year of mental agony, paranoia, and overall "hell of mind" interrupted only occasionaly by a glimpse at the heavens, I slowly began to rebuild myself to what I am today. And I must say am a much stronger person for it.  It was an experience that, to this day, the words escape me that would actually grasp what I went through.  After that I devoted myself to learning, living, and experiencing this miracle we call LIFE.  I feel I owe the restoration of my sanity to writers like Tom Wolfe, Terrence Mckenna, and more than others Daniel Pinchbeck.  Reading these books are what let me know that I'm not in this alone and what I went through (although it is quite "unnormal" in todays society) is very significant.

So began my journey into "myself".  I've reached incredible levels of awareness and insight which in turn fills me with an overwhelming zest for life.  Although the world is being run into the ground by the arrogant, who not only deny the power of psychedelics but persecute and imprison those that are spiratually mature enough to recognize them for the cosmic gifts that they are, I wake every day knowing that its within my power to experience life as I wish.  I believe that the universe has a tendency to balance itself out and that these years of greed, dominance, and arrogance can only be followed by years of peace, love, and partnership.  Whether I will live through the change that is drastically needed to bring such peace is irrelevant, because my zest for life has come with the embracement of death.  For what Huxley once called "the Essential Horror" is actually quite the opposite, death is only the return to the Clear Light from which we came and is ultimately a form of fulfillment.   

Since my initiation into the self, I have experimented several times with hallucinogens.  Unfortunately because of today's hatred of such drugs, I am limited only to what I can get from local dealers who often express no interest in psychedelics and spend their time with more addicting and destructive drugs (cocaine, heroine, etc.).  But I have made due with the occasional bag of fungi or paper squares.  I've expanded my interests to other methods of transcendence such as meditation, which has helped me greatly in clearing my thoughts. 

I have a good group of friends but, to this point, I have met no one who shares my avid interest for other dimensions of reality and thought.  Which brings me to this website where I hope I will meet such people. I love to debate on the quandries of life.  I feel it is the only way to be sure any ideals are worth keeping.  So for all those who find this story of any relevance to themselves, I would love to meet you and discuss such topics.  Be it accounts of trips, thoughts on life, or cultivation of psychedelics I would be glad to hear it. 

A lot of what I've learned can humorously be summed up by the theme song of a popular 70's sitcom.  "Ya take the good, Ya take the bad, Ya take it all and there ya have, The Facts Of Life".  Because the truth is that "heaven" restores faith in the existence of Buddha Nature (Nirvana, Clear Light, etc.) but "hell" keeps you looking for it.  Ultimately one cannot live with out the other and achieving a balance between the two will result in Infinite Bliss. 

Interests

Life, Thought, and The Experience of the two