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Biographical

Joan o' (f)Art is a star-seeded extraterrestrial who grew up in Reseda. She began recalling her Sirian and Arcturian origins at the age of 24 after she got the hell out of that smell hole known as the San Fernando valley. The aliens picked Joan up and dropped her off in an anarchist faiyland called the Rodeo Grounds with her fake ex-husband/partner in artistic crime, Toylit.

Toylit and Log (Joan's other fake name) devoted all their time to making bad art and writing crap poetry. As a comic book super hero team, they blazed a comet trail of social deconditioning Art+muCsic=anarchistick performance parties known as "The Never Ending Costume Party," and "Timeship Medusa," for which Joan was the anarchistic artistic anti-director. They acquired a cult following and became fake messiahs.

Together, Toylit & Log ritually worshipped Cheez Wiz Christ, The Poddess, (androgynous alien god/dess of erotic love), and practiced fire gazing, DooDoo (VooDoo + Dada), Qablahblah, Brown Magic, and Octopus sex magic. Toylit taught Log about the real existence of fairies. Toylit and Log were both faggy queer fairies from the future on a mission to sociopathetically destroy reality. Joan spent an entire year wearing nothing but costume and face-paint to protest reality. She then started rounding up members for the Children's Luftkissen (hovercraft) art army. Psychadelic fascism grew like a mean green meme and well-tended weed.

For X-Mass, Joan was gifted by Satan her own Mayan Circus Crematorium, from whence spraing Cirque de so Lame after a botched black dildo audition for Cirque de Soleil. Joan shortly thereafter acquired crutches. Joan is 6'2," so the crutches were as long as Lucifer's tail. Log then adopted an alien fairy clown named Maggot. Maggot is the 5'2" crystal apple of Log's enveloping alien insect eye.

Together, Log and Maggot atemporally hobbled on their crutches to Japan, where they became sci-fi punk rock clowns and national treasures. Log loved Loki, Lucifer and Maggot like her very own children. She also loved Japanese babies, and started an art project known as "The Bad Babysitter Project," which gave adults permission to be very naughty children since they were usually such socially programmed robots with hired security and pigs that made them feel afraid. Piggy paradox anyone?

Joan fought art battles all over the city of Los Angeles in order to help break the shackles of the Burning Man and "art" scene's mental rigidity which were nearly invisible until Joan started wagering destructo bets. She is finally learning how to be a warrior goddess after many many lives as a tough male warrior, shaman, and politician. She still wishes she could kill the fascists and plans on it for film. She will sacrifice frogs not pigs for self-liberation.

As an evil-enlightened clown, Joan started listening to David Bowie in her Veggie Oil Benz while she prayed to Hitler for Hitler's charisma and Ziggy's fame, hence becumming Piggy Scarlust. She then met Niggy Tardust, Miggie Pop, and Billy Kravitz (a blond-afroed hybrid of Billy Idol and Lenny Kravitz). Piggy then decimated and killed her image and her lust for fame as a cremated Post-Modern Rock Knock-off. She is currently writing an alien screenplay and scientific articles and blogs of an alien persuasion while making a mad dash for sum Sirius cash. She is a spider totem and puts Spider Man to shame.

During Star Wars in real time, Joan landed in a Nazi Gas Chamber in Amsterdam where she did her first male modeling shoot in Jew-toaster oven. It was one of the most stinkronistically satisfying and therapeutic experiences of her life. Unfortunately, she left the zipper-necked haute couture shirt back at the designer's which was beyond stupid considering how often do you get to do a synchronistic male modeling shoot in a real Nazi Gas Chamber? The dead Jew ghosts reminded her that there was worse pain people had experienced than having had Joan's alien father murdered in a botched drug deal when she was only 12.

During her five month near-death experience as a 27 year old burn-out rockstar who spent a year grieving her father (which she hadn't done at twelve), divorcing Toylit, and popping ovarian zombie eggs like popcorn, she acquired the ability to talk to ghosts, commune with angels, and visit with her alien family and dead father on a regular basis. She is a White Spectral Worldbridger. She believes death is the greatest liberator and ally of life. She has visited with Joan of Arc, Allister Crowley, Jesus, and countless other ghosts, immortals, and multi-demented aliens. This led her to believe in the immortality of the soul beyond the mortal coil of her physical self. She teaches tantric and alien yoga as unity-oriented practices. www.alienyoga.com. She is an immortal Hathor ghost.

Through Joan's solo tantric sex practice, she holographically healed Planet Earth after the apocalypse with atemporal crystal rainbow orgasms. She is the fake enlightened Bootysattva. She believes life is just a matter of energy and linguistics at the end of the day. She also learned to believe in angels and picked up four angel-aliens from The Ashtar Command, aka E.T. Security. In the process, she became one of them. Joan is a member her own secret society.

Joan o' (f)Art is hiring fellow art generals for a critical mass punkrockapocalypse tour and culture jam art battle in 2012 called "The Maddening," a massive temporary autonomous zone with renassault anarchalien attacks. She has had visions of the immense power of starseeded aliens to will the nature of their desire in this Earthly realm with the help of their intent in the void blank null noosphere. She wish you knew she wasn't joking. She wish you would joke some more. If you know of anyone who would be fit for Joan's Luftkissen children's art army in an effort to overthrow social fascism, please contact her. It will take a collective and concerted effort to destroy the Roman Empire in its ever-shifting guises as it finally crumbles once and for all. 2012 the puppet gig is up.

For more info, visit www.tribe.net/joanofart.
www.myspace.com/thebadbabysitterproject
www.lifeasapoet.com (where you can buy her latest poetry book Alien Sex Bullet!)

 

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http://www.tribe.net/joanofart

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