Reboot and Rebirth

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Have you ever experienced frustration when computer problems resulted in a deleted document, file, project, or entire database? Many a peaceful mindset has been lost along with all that valuable information.

Now imagine that computer is your brain.

Su Meck's astonishing story
is not far from that. At 22, she was hit by a ceiling fan and a week later, woke up with total memory loss. Her husband Jim humorously commented, "She was Su 2.0. She had rebooted." But things were far from easy or amusing. The accident erased all of her memory and her brain was reverted back to that of a 4 year old. She could no longer read, eat, walk, dress or drive. She couldn't do anything by herself. Her vocabulary was reduced to a few phrases.

In addition to the incredible task of having to re-learn everything, Meck woke up a virtual foreigner to her life: a husband she didn't recognize and two kids that didn't feel like hers, though biologically they were.

"It was literally like she had died. Her personality was gone," said her husband, Jim, of after the accident. Indeed, the journey back was long and began with short letters to her extended family who lived far away, since telephone calls were too difficult for the first few years. Seeing the difficulty with grammar and spelling, as well as the limited vocabulary is heart-rending.

But now-- the woman whose brain doctors said was full of cracks "like shaken Jello"-- has graduated from Montgomery College as the chapter's Phi Theta Kappa president, with an associate degree in music and a 3.9 average. Perhaps even more beautiful is that her husband and three children were there sharing jubilant congratulations and love at the graduation.

This is the stuff of movies or Talking Heads songs, not of real life. But Su Meck did what we can only imagine: re-falling in love with a husband and children and courageously relearning her way through her entire life. These days, Su Meck is looking ahead at earning a bachelor's degree in music and joyfully drumming along to Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd. Hats off and much admiration to this amazing woman!

 

Image by Patrick Hosely on Flickr via Creative Commons Licensing

Comments

Questions, Questions!

I'd be really curious to know -- did people who knew her -- did they think she had a similar personality to the personality she had before? Or was she radically different? Favorite ice cream flavors or books? Weaknesses? Would be really curious to find out. It would say a lot about who we are and how we are capable of transforming; It would inform all ideas about reincarnation; It would tell so many things.

Answers

@LionKimbro In one example of a change, Su 1.0 was a lifeguard. We had great times in the ocean. Following the accident, and to this day, she is terrified of the water.  We don't know why.

Su Meck's (my wife's) personality radically changed. People have asked did she "withdraw" or such.  It wasn't really that way.  On the other side of the accident, Su was almost child-like.  An innocent.  Over the last 23 years, Su has grown into a new and again complete person.

Horribly, when she awakened after the accident, Su's world was full of pain and fear.  Physical pain and emotional fear of who am I? What am I? What is this place?  What is my place in it? But once she overcame the majority of the physical trauma and paralysis (some persists to this day), her world became full of wonder too.  It is amazing to be a part of it.

There was nothing Su understood about the world around her.  About herself.  Or her place in it.  There was no "her".  Su had no "I" in her vocabulary.  Or in her mind.  We are still struggling to put the pieces together.  

After years of actively not talking about her own struggle, Su has found her voice, and is speaking from her heart and her own memories! We are all captivated. We are all listening.  

Fear of water

I find it really interesting that your wife became afraid of water after her accident.  I am a personal care worker at an assisted living facility that has many residents with alzheimer's and other forms of dementia and memory loss.  I know I'm not an expert, but I do know it's quite normal among memory loss patients to be afraid of water.  It goes beyond simply bathing and hygiene, it's associated with a primal fear of drowning and ultimately helplessness thats caused by not being in control of one's body.  I wonder if Su's is a residual fear from when she "re-booted" and returned to that childlike state that the elderly sometimes enter?

Why now

Su's motivation now is to help those suffering hidden injury, and their families and those that care about them, to know that they are not alone. To know, while there are not guarantees, that there might be reason for some hope. Even if that hope is simply a better understanding of where TBI survivors are.