Njoying Eleven
Njoy Toys motto should be “Satisfaction Guaranteed.” Like Kathy Bates in Misery, I am a number one fan, and Njoy Toys has yet to disappoint me. Seriously, I’ve been touting the pleasures of the Pure Wand for as long as I’ve owned mine. Not only do I have great orgasms with the thing, but it makes me squirt almost every time. And now I can add a new notch to my belt, and a new toy to my box, because Njoy’s Eleven is another home run.
It’s heavy, very heavy, as in 2 ¾ pounds of sexy stainless steel. Which means it’s not only a great sex toy, but it’s also a greatworkout. The diameter of the smaller end, 1 ¾" isn’t very small, and the ridges are a nice added touch. The large 2” end is so big that I seriously couldn’t fit it in my mouth (yes, I tried). This is not a toy for people afraid of size, no way. This toy laughs at little toys. It may even chew them up and eat them for dinner. But that’s okay. I’d understand. Because the Eleven is a serious toy for serious sex. It’s definitely the new king of my toy box.
Jamye Waxman is a sex educator and advice columnist. You can read her blog here.
- 8-13-08
- Jamye Waxman's blog
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question on sex toys
Hi Jamye,
I wonder if you or others still feel there is anything liberating about these types of gadgets anymore, or is it more just feeding an empty craving for endless sensation?
I remember reading about the "God Realm," one of the bardos in the Tibetan Book of the Dead. It was said that the Gods could have unbelievable pleasure - incredible orgasms that lasted millenia - but ultimately it didn't really matter. Because of the fabulous comforts surrounding them, they would never attain enlightenment, and when they finally died, after so many hundreds of thousands of years, they would reincarnate back in a lower bardo, and have to go through the entire incarnational cycle again.
Eventually we will probably have the capacity to put electrodes in our brain and stimulate orgasms at great length upon demand. Will that be a good thing?
What's beyond sexual liberation and its addiction or enslavement to the orgasm?
At some point, you might want to check out the book, "Pain, Sex, and Time" by Gerald Heard.
"Will the transformation."-Rilke
ah yes
I grabbed that book when you recommended it to me, but it's been languishing. Hereby bumped to the top of the pile once more.
I think sexual energy is quite similar to a number of other paths out there. Some people have "empty cravings," yes, but others use it for broader purposes, much as some people use psychoactives as a "recreational" experience and others find it spiritually illuminating. The same exists in my BDSM community: some people just enjoy a hit of adrenaline and endorphins, while others embark upon spiritual quests through the exploration of what the connection between body and spirit, pleasure and pain might herald.
I suspect, too, that most people on those heavier paths also have their moments of simply enjoying the process of orgasm/psychotropics/BDSM, and I see nothing wrong with that. Conversation can be profound, too, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy small talk with a barista now and then. Tantra on a Sunday and a quick-and-dirty come with a sex toy Wednesday -- why not?
There seems to be a very anti-pleasure bias to some paths, which I find worrying as a person with an abundance mindset. There's a difference, in my opinion, between restraint and care (such as we could all use when it comes to gas consumption) and shuttering our minds and bodies from pleasant experiences. There is no scarcity of pleasure; we can't use up happiness. Certainly we should not remain stuck in ecstatic states and blind to the problems around us, but turning our backs on pleasure altogether accomplishes no positive effect.
liberation verse sensation
Great questions and I will definitely check out that book.
For starters, Beverly Whipple (the woman credited with coining the term G-spot) has done lots of research on the biology of orgasm, with an interest in working with para and quadriplegics who can't actually feel the stimulation of their genitals, but who still have orgasms because of the brains involvement. So, I don't think that brain stimulation to orgasm is that far off for the rest of us.
That being said, will it be a good thing when the rest of the world can have an orgasm through brain stimulation alone? I suppose that's a question that needs to be answered by each individual. It will be a good thing for those people who have never had an orgasm, for those who want to get to know the sensation so they can stop wondering about what it feels like to reach that peak. So for curious orgasm seekers, or for those who like orgasms so much that they have to have all different kinds of them (probably the people that you would call addicts), it will be a fix, one that they will view as a good thing. But it will be also be dangerous too, since as a society we will focus more and more on orgasm, and less and less on the pleasure one can experience before getting there. It can take the touch, the kissing, the human connection out of the experience. I guess with sex toys some may argue it already is.But that's what I think our problem in society is already. That we have to achieve orgasm to have enjoyed ourselves and our body (or someone else's body). Like burping after a good meal is a compliment in certain parts of the world, an orgasm is the only way we judge that we were loved well, or that we were a good lover. Why is that? Why do we have to have a definitive end to know that we experienced sexual gratification?
I think what's beyond sexual liberation and it's addiction/enslavement to orgasm - which sounds so dire to me - is the place where we get to where orgasm isn't the measure of pleasure, and it's a place where we seek pleasure as a part of the human experience, as a part of the evolution of our selves into higher beings. That's what I like to think of sex toys as, instruments of pleasure. The liberating thing about these toys is that they can help us feel sensations that we can't always achieve with our own two hands (or someone else's). They are tools to teach us more about our bodies, and sometimes they help us achieve orgasm, whether it's because we want the release, or simply because it happens. And so no, I don't think it's feeding an empty craving for endless sensation, I think toys can be tools for exploration. Like books and teachings that help us expand our mind, sex toys help us expand our bodies, and help us understand more and more about the vessel that houses our soul this time around.
im in love