Navigating the Relation-Ship

With a new moon in Libra and a Mercury Retrograde beginning just one day later, the words we use in the next month will impact us deeper and reverberate far into the future. How can we protect ourselves from communications mistakes while still giving the generous bounty of our hearts?

3 times a year for 3 weeks, the Trickster planet of communications, Mercury, seems to reverse in the sky, and we know the story:

The hard drive crashes. Your boyfriend doesn't receive the important email. Your girlfriend never receives the apologetic phone message. The landlord revokes the lease you just signed the day before. Welcome to the tribulations of Mercury Retrograde, where Murphy's Law rules. Cell phones, laptops, record numbers of flights – we are all swimming through an oroboric spiral of information, the serpent of communications trying not to choke on its own tail. During its retrograde cycle, Mercury plays its role as Trickster, mirroring back to us the vicious circle where our dependence on communications conveniences comes back to bite us. The breakdowns are rarely intentional during this time, but often information is left out – the full story not told. The Trickster is actually asking us to stop. Collect our thoughts and feelings over the last three months. Use the ingredients of our recent experiences to write, journal, do dreamwork, and basically slow down so that we may digest all that has transpired. So back up your hard drive, write out your phone numbers in paper form, wait to sign the contract, leave extra travel time and an extra tank of gasoline in the car. It may be tedious, but so is the effect of not preparing.

Relationship, RelationShip

How in the heavens do we steer that vast relation-ship? Is there even a captain on deck navigating? This autumn Mercury Retrograde allows us the much deserved rest to integrate our summer experiences. During these three weeks, we benefit most from reflection and introspection. Mercury in Scorpio is the psychological detective asking us to probe the core of our motivational body. When we look back over the last three months, we can ask: What layer in my spiritual fabric did those karmic encounters reveal? How have my actions matched my words in integrity? Have I been intimidated, overwhlemed, or filled with anxiety in the realm of intimacy? As I shed the skin of the summer season, did i see myself step into my power or did I cower behind patterns of fear and a lack of trust in Great Mystery? We must remember that Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio reveals the archetypal figure of the psychopomp within, the alchemical shaman guiding us thru the inner-underworld. Mercury was the only god who could go through the underworld unscathed, detached from the fears and anxieties which projected themselves as dark images to those he guided. So can we improvise a contact dance with the shadows in the mirror?

One important point to remember this month for those of us born between the years of 1970 and 1984, the Sun in Libra will transit over our natal Pluto this month. This will highlight the transformational work each of us has been doing regarding relationships and emphasize the catalytic quality of our encounters. Indeed, we each play the role of shaman with each other. One vision of healing feeds the spirit of wholeness which we all seek.

The quest we share, often tense and intimidating, is to peel away the conditioned concepts and relational models of previous generations, to make room for a whole new vision of sustainability in relationship. And this reflects the theme of this New Moon in Libra. How do we harmonize the brevity with the intensity of our many reflective encounters?

Remember that the Autumnal Equinox we recently celebrated marks the balance of light and dark, day and night. It also marks the passage of the Sun into the sign of balance, Libra, where our concern for the other must match our care for ourselves. For all of us, and especially the Pluto in Libra generation, our purpose is to dance the acrobatic tightrope with our lovers – the space we carve together in the ether is a model of relating which supports individual evolution and simultaneously honors interdependent cooperation. Literally, we are building languages of graceful entanglement. Lovers weaving the celtic knot, tattoing it into the fabric of the planet's noosphere. Each healing word, each selfless gesture imprints the soul of the biosphere and teaches us how to balance the scales.

This month may be the best time to collectively investigate models of sustainable relationship which fit the new paradigms we seek – a vision of freedom pulsing within surrender, the strength of committment without the threat of suffocation. I offer the ancient and modern day celtic/pagan practice of handfasting – commitment for one year and one day with a partner. At the close of the year, in front of a presider and the community, the vows may be renewed for another cycle of the four seasons, or the vows may be made permanent for the course of life together, or lastly, the couple may give gratitude for their shared journey through the seasons and choose to go on their separate journeys, in honor, admiration, and accomplishment.

Venus' one month stay in meticulous, careful Virgo conjoining Saturn adds another layer of seriousness, hard work, and devotional practice to our art and relationships. Mars stay in Cancer for the next five months keeps asking us to initiate ourselves through nurturing, healing, maternal energies. Both these cosmic lovers, Mars and Venus, ask us to slow down in order to cultivate our caring.

Inside the word Partnership, the word "art" pulsates. Indeed, for intimacy to evolve, we must commit to crafting the composite spirit which breathes between two people. In my Art of Partnership astrological readings, we focus on the chart of synastry, literally joining of the stars, but also the composite chart. While synastry shows how the two individuals affect each other, the composite chart reveals the hidden third energy of the two-as-one, and unveils the nature of the connection itself. The composite chart can guide us on the path to realizing the relationship's essence, without submitting to patterns or old paradigms. One way to engage our charts is to work with our moon signs. As described in my lecture, "Loving By Luna," the moon position in our chart reveals our place of safety, security, and nourishment. As lovers, one way to connect our intimate moon energies, is to align them with the moon's position in the sky. How do we make this alignment a delicious journey? We make love in the archetypal style of the moon's position for two-and-a-half days. So if the Moon is in Leo in the sky, for instance, then we perform for our lover – we dance, throw on the wig, lip sync "Happy Birthday Mr. President" and generally have fun. Leo is the sign of children and play. But 2.5 days later, when the moon moves into Virgo, we may want to don our ceremonial clothing, cast a circle with candles all around, share a tarot card reading, honor the sacred in each other thru eyegazing and slow touch. This is the lovemaking style of Virgo, the craftsman, in service to his or her partner. The willful union of the two spirits then serves Great Spirit itslef. These are simple suggestions and I invite you to research a bit on the nature of each sign. With this practice, over one month (moonth), the two of you will then teach each other the archetypal language of the zodiac not through a discourse, but through a full body/mind/spirit ecstatic engagement, the Macrocosmic Luna seducing the Microcosmic Lovers' Moon – as above, so below.

With this months' New Moon in Libra and Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio and Libra, we will definitely be challenged to discover alternate forms of communication, which both nurture and heal, rather than wound with fear. I hope the above suggestions may offer inspiration along the journey.

Strangers passing in the street,
By chance do separate glances meet,
And I am you
And what I see is me.
And do I take you by the hand,
And Lead you through the land,
And help me understand
The best I can.
– Pink Floyd

Mercury Keywords:
Trickster, Teacher, Messenger, Eternal Youth, Underworld Guide, Communications Control

Libra Keywords:
Grace, justice, balance, righteousness, harmony, peace – the counselor, the artist, the diplomat, the lover

Scorpio Keywords:
Intensity, depth, passion, shadow - the alchemist, the researcher, the psychologist, the shaman, the investigator

Key Dates:

• Thursday October 11th, Mercury turns retrograde

• Tuesday Oct. 23, just as the sun slips into Scorpio, Mercury will continue to slide back into Libra, recalling all the major themes of the New Moon

•Thursday Nov. 1st, Mercury turns direct

"I bow to the deity residing in you." "I am another you." "May God's blessing be upon you."

Image by beyond20khz, used via a Creative Commons license.