Gone To Burning Man '11

December 7th 1944, Rum rations went around and we reasoned that the last of the u-boats had been scuttled, Sonar equipment failed. Senses were all we could rely on in the frigid waters of the north sea with an ill equipped destroyer.

In a flash stoic reflection with comrades turned into a bombastic hellscape of inescapable horror and madness. Lieutenant Eckharts body was impaled through his back on the side bar just above what used to be the stern deck a few moments before. Peter Eckhart...*more torpedos come screetching through the dark currents. Maybe I just imagined the noise they made, it didn't matter, by then we were a crew of 67 reduced to 31 sailors 17 Miles from shore.

We began to swim, Wreckage and bodies filled my senses and the horrors of what I had seen and what I had done. Was this gods punishment for the killing I had done? It was different in war, He knew that I thought... But out here in the darkness, the cold siezing the life of my comrades and friends, ice crystals forming on our lungs with every breathe tightening of the heart and chest.

I wasn't able to think, I couldn't even breathe, swimming with James Lambert on my back, He was mumbling about god and his mother, The incoherence of a man half dying and limbless...The fate I was expecting for myself...I kept swimming, making slow strides, asking for gods help, cursing his fucking name everytime I turned back to flash count the numbers of men who were lost in the frigid abyss.

The images of the hundreds of krauts I had killed, their ematiated faces, and the hatred I felt for them. Fucking Jesus H fucking Christ. Jesus fucking Christ! Cocksucker! God damn this whole fucking place! The frantic anger and wrath, The dispise for god and what he had done to us, there was no god here, just cold and empty, a frightful abyss of the cruelest fate for killers and would be righteous men...killing again, and again, my cruel fate for the evils I had done. The whole world was aghast in black smoke, What was I fighting for anymore? the notion hit me and I realized I couldn't feel my legs anymore. I could just die here, cold in this, the walless tomb of my own designs. I created this, I had killed so many, I was the devil. There was no god here for me...Just the ghosts of krauts taunting my mind in the dark...Jesus fucking Christ! my hatred for life, my self, and god swelled up so great inside me, It became the last strength, the strength to survive. To beat god. To beat the nazi fucks who sowed this cruelest fate. Jesus fucking Christ!

When We arrived at the shore there were only 12 men. We huddled close and praised god and Jesus for saving our cursed bastards lives. We all knew we were that close...and to the ones who didn't make it;we didn' cry because the tears froze to our eyes.

Born with someone else memories and experiences. A leo in another life. I knew when ayahuasca brought my family members to see me, my grandmother knew. I remember playing yahtzee with her as a boy, The 6 foot russian lady. She was there, as blue echtoplasmatic entity. Asking me if I could stand up, I went to do so, and fell instantly. I turned off the light, but the realization of seeing these energy beings which presumed themselvces to be dead family members was...just too much. I collapsed back on the floor and told them that I loved them regardless. I knew already what was being transmitted to me. I was born on my grandfathers death date. I was born with pneumonia, with water in my lungs. On a stormy night, in Newfoundland my Dad drove my mother in his rcmp suburban to the hospital. My mother had just become very sick with pneumonia, the doctors put me in an incubator for 3 days right as I was born. Into the machinery of life. Still though, they tell me of the strangeness of the night and how they joked about giving birth to an alien. Maybe to an octopus.

He died of a heart attack when my dad was still young enough to see his father as a hero and not an obstruction. My dad figures an early heart attack was a result of cardiac damage done from the swim in the north sea

Strange that.

Still though

Its its like physical pollution, people just accept it and act like toxins don't exist. Until they reach critical density and the bottom of the bucket drops out. Then what happens? probably just people continuing to act out the life dramas constructed for us by advertising firms, corporations, government, and the military. Keep consumption up! When the air is like China, there will be scapegoats for our hatred! Everyone will join in. Years later some will say 'What happend' No one will notice the cycle continue. They want to be fooled.

So be that. Esoteric knowledge is not fit for everyone, its not a marxist doctrine. Its other and its not for understanding. Its for...Well you don't really get to know, not at this juncture. Here is just time to field out strange ideas and experiences among other strange folk on the cusps of their own realizations of the intangible. Making the intangible verifiable and observable makes it true in the minds of people. Its good method to create confusion in their minds to the point of endeavoring on their own understanding. Thats the point. To awaken people, to liberate them. The methods change with the times, and the seasons, with the people who traffic in this kind of free wheeling speculative madness. They will probably just pretend for your benefit. Maybe they are not strong enough, maybe they have secrets doubts and hidden failures. Maybe they are fraudulent charlatans, there is nothing to believe in, there is no great wave coming. There is just slow death of the earth and the complicity of its insectoidal human form residents churping their tweets behind the LCD, stillborn motherboards awaiting to be reprogrammed.

It doesn't matter to them, they think thats what the fringe thinkers are trying to do to them. They don't realize the full on mass hallucination that has put a spell on the people of the earth. In the past we would know darkness was spread throughout the land...Don't worry though, just smile and be happy, thats what people want to see, they don't have time or the sense for empathy and understanding. There's nothing to learn from psychedelic drugs, they are dangerous and can result in myriad health complications. Please refrain from this. Live in denial of the history of our species, and stick only to the truths we all agree on. When the pressure from the subconscious denial of our selves as spiritual beings is too great...Just wash the world in blood once more! Soon after forget that and continue breeding. Its gods plan.

Thats all we should know. Everything else is too dangerous at this point. People wont react well. People are mostly ignorant. Its a true statement, ignorance is ignorance. We know that. But ignorance is relative. Not everyone should know everything. Most people don't need to know, they should not know, not now.

Not ever. *travels through time, tries again.