Depersonalization

Hi everyone,

Is anyone here familiar with chronic depersonalization/derealization? I've been dealing with it for a year and still can't make heads or tales of it. It's both terrifying and terribly interesting. 

If you've never heard of it you will probably be familiar with some of the sensations, for example:

"The sensation of being truly alive, of truly being in the present to such an intensity that it is transformed into panic. For me, contemplating existence is enough to throw my mind into a state of utter chaos."

"Sufferers of depersonalization feel divorced from both the world and from their own identity and physicality. Oftentimes the person who has experienced depersonalization claims that life "feels like a movie, things seem unreal, or hazy." [citation needed] Also a recognition of self breaks down (hence the name). The person experiencing the disorder may feel like life is a dream or an illusion of sorts.

The feeling is said to be like being a ghost. No matter how hard the person tries, he/she cannot feel like they are genuinely interacting with the world. They can't seem to perceive themselves as being normal."

"Its like I fall deep within myself. I look at my mind from within and feel both trapped and puzzled about the strangeness of my existence. My thoughts swirl round and round constantly probing the strangeness of selfhood - why do I exist? Why am I me and not someone else? At these times, feelings of sweaty panic develop, as if I am having a phobia about my own thoughts. At other times, I don't feel grounded' - I look at this body and can't understand why I am within it. I hear myself having conversations and wonder where the voice is coming from. I imagine myself seeing life as if it were played like a film in a cinema. But in that case, where am I? Who is watching the film? What is the cinema? The worst part is that this seems as if it's the truth, and the periods of my life in which I did not feel like this were the delusions." 

"It's like a phobia of ones own existence"  

http://www.depersonalization.info/overview.html 

I'd like to discuss it if there are any other sufferers here.  

Thanks.