Chaos, Collapse, and Synchronicity
From imploding economies to hurricanes and tsunamis, from astounding corruption to war and terrorism, from catastrophic climate change to thermonuclear weapons in the Middle East, the clichés of doom that lately populate the course of human events is more than enough to tilt a sane citizen into apocalyptic anxiety. I am certain that I paint too broad a stroke on it, but I'm nonetheless going to venture to say that worrying about civilizational collapse is like worrying about whether or not one's relationship will end in a painful breakup. I don't mind admitting that I've spent some time worrying about both of these things -- indeed, one of them even came to pass -- and I can testify that no amount of worry could have prepared me for the agony -- and the ecstasy -- that eventually came of it.
As it happened, I was in the midst of writing my second novel, Nine Kinds of Naked, a novel which presumed to explore the theme of synchronicity. I really don't remember how or why, but I had dared myself to write Nine Kinds of Naked without a plan and only according to the synchronicity of my daily experience. This turned out to be a terrifying endeavor, and one that I was entirely unprepared to meet. I remember complaining aloud one day, voicing my frustration that this wasn't working, that I was trying to write about synchronicity rather than allowing the story to simply proceed by its own design. I had read every book on the topic, taking careful notes the way my graduate training had habituated me to do, and there I was writing the book as an exhausted intellectual rather than as an inspired artist. I found myself writing about a phenomenon that I only dimly recalled from years earlier in my life, not something that I was experiencing in the present moment. I felt like I was failing my project.
Then my relationship of eleven years abruptly ended.
I only mention this very personal detail of my life at all because of what happened to me afterwards: I was propelled into a six-month period of unparalleled and nearly nonstop synchronicity that continued to reverberate for another full year and upon which I'm still surfing the shockwave. I'm not speaking here about the typical tripe: seeing your former lover's initials on a license plate or hearing another lovesick pop song every time you click on the radio. Cripes and jeezus gawd, there was plenty of that, but if those wan synchronicities are supposed to be the thumbprints of Providence in the margins of my life, then Providence has grown much too tame. I'm speaking here of the truly uncanny, the highly improbable, the perpetual co-incidence of my life intersecting perfectly with the lives of everyone around me. Shortly after my split, suffering with grief one summer day on my porch, a rare car passed my house, windows open, broadcasting the gaudy voice of a radio commercial advertising I know not what: "It's a big change," the radio yapped in passing. "Heal naturally." And that's the most insignificant example I can remember.
In my research on synchronicity, I had learned that it is most likely to emerge during and after ego-shattering experiences. These include near-death experiences, the death of loved ones, the end (or the beginning) of love relationships, shamanic / visionary experiences, travel, and so forth. Psychology typically deems this a form of dissociation in response to psychological trauma, and this is probably correct. After all, when I measure it against my own experience -- in which the entire world and my very presence within it seemed indistinguishable from a dream -- that defines dissociation, certainly. And yet, this explanation by itself left me feeling deeply dissatisfied, implying as it did a dismissal of my experience. And the experience of synchronicity is profoundly personal. It relies upon your subjectivity and the meanings you bring to your life. Because of this, it is irrelevant to debate whether or not it's real in the sense of what we might vainly refer to as objective reality. There's an unavoidable arrogance in presuming to evaluate not merely the truth of someone else's experience, but actually the truth of the meaning of someone else's experience. In the latter case, it has absolutely nothing to do with anyone but the person involved.
In any event, my understanding eventually relented to a view in which synchronicity is the face of a deeper level of interconnectivity. This dovetails with Eastern notions of non-duality, the mystical perception that unity is the underlying reality, that individual consciousness is actually the necessary illusion of distinction, the dark side of the Tao, so to speak, that which hears the tree falling in the woods. In this view, then, whenever the structures of one's mind are shaken, the mind opens into a wider perception of reality that is hallmarked by synchronicity, understood here as a dissolution of the boundary between the interior and the exterior worlds. Fundamentally, the ego is the illusion that you exist separate from everything else, it is that which walls you off from the flow of undivided unity. Whenever these walls collapse, the flow of undivided unity rushes into your life, and synchronicity is the face of this perception.
So, dear and patient readers, my quodlibet is this: Although my breakup catalyzed what an external observer may at first grunt judge to be a breakdown, from my point of view the only breakdown was the delusion that I was in control of my life. All the walls -- of identity, ambition, and security, of any illusion that I knew who I was, or where I was, or that I had any clue at all what was happening in life -- all of this collapsed like an obsolete civilization and permitted eternity to course through me as never before. Insofar as apocalypse derives from the Greek apokalyptein, meaning "to unveil," this was some version of my personal apocalypse, and since apocalypse is the etymological antonym of hell, which derives from the Latin helan, meaning "to veil," the only thing to mourn was the liberation from my own illusions. In a similar fashion, this is what we're facing when we worry about the collapse of our social structures. Despite our roads and skylines, despite our bridges and our borders, despite our military-industrial complexes and hyper-corrupt transnational corporations, society does not actually exist anywhere but the human mind. As a mental construct, society provides us with a shared illusion of meaning, purpose, and order, and it stabilizes our existence thereby, but paraphrasing Terence McKenna, society is not our friend. At best it is what Aldous Huxley referred to as a reducing valve to our perception, and at worst it is what Robert Anton Wilson called "the devil's masquerade," a Luciferian diversion from the truth of existence.
And the truth, or something resembling it, is that if you walk outside right now, hold your hand up to the sky, and pinch a millimeter of heaven between your thumb and forefinger, the truth is that if you were to focus the Hubble space telescope on that random sector of sky between your thumb and forefinger, that one dot on the overwhelming vault of heaven, you would discover billions of galaxies. This is the cathedral of eternity in which we find ourselves, and this magnificent insignificance is what we do not see when we imagine that we are -- or that we could ever be -- in control of this juggernaut that is barreling down the shuddering tracks of history.
As McKenna also intones on one of my favorite Shpongle tracks: Nothing is wrong, everything is on track. And indeed it was, for as it turned out, my matrimonial cataclysm was just the apocalyptic knock I needed to inspire the novel some part of me had dared myself to fathom. I gave up, I surrendered, and it was only then that Nine Kinds of Naked could proceed according its own synchronicity. There was a tremendous relief in this giving up of control, in surrendering to some chaotic process infinitely larger than myself, in realizing not only that I am not in control of my life, but also that I don't have to be.
So here we yawn at millennium's dawn: Bugles are blasting and the walls of civilization are crumbling, chaos is seeping through the cracks and crawling out of the shadows, survivalist monkeys are buying guns and the ice caps are melting besides as chaos gazes unfazed at the clamor of humanity sounding for all the universe like the echo of a distant wind chime. That which we thought was stable, safe, and secure is not, that which we sacrificed so much for is failing, that which told us who we are is collapsing like a psychedelic kaleidoscope. And as our social structures collapse, humanity -- barbaric, beautiful humanity -- will rediscover the awesome divinity that inhabits the core of our consciousness as one by one we give up control because society may not be our friend but chaos is our mother and our mother is an order unfathomable, a layer of complexity much deeper than the dim and flimsy arrogance of ego can admit to itself. Welcome our selves to the cathedral of eternity, the dimension in which we step out of that steaming pile of ego which passes for human consciousness and at last surrender into a higher order of experience in which our interconnectivity one to another becomes blindingly obvious, and we see, and we know, and we remember, that there is so much more happening in life than we have ever been led to believe.
May your days dare delight with your dreams~
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Comments
Reality Sandwich has this
Reality Sandwich has this odd way of posting articles of things recently being discussed by my friends and me. It's kind of like the waking life bit with the crossword puzzles, Where when ideas are put out, humans can somehow tap into and grab those ideas.
I find once one embraces synchronicity and rides the flow things become aligned and flow naturally where they should go.
Your article was exactly what I needed to read right now.
Be the change you want to see.
wonderful
Tony, thank you for this wonderful piece. It is also perfectly in tune with my very current thoughts/fears on social collapse ... and it resonates even down to my recent compulsion to launch into my own academic research exploration of synchronicity. I think instead of loading up on all those titles I saved on Amazon, I'll be reading your novel...
;)
st
Perceive the harmony that serenades the illusion.
Tyler et al... thanks for
Tyler et al... thanks for the en-courage-ment, and glad to know the words are reverberating. Book three is coming along, Tyler, and I'm already working on a follow-up to this essay.
Stay in tune~
Tony V
www.tonyvigorito.com
Yup.
I had a "feeling" that I was gonna like this article. . .
Part of what you mentioned regarding society reminds me of something I've kicked around lately and that is that it seems like our society is going through a sort of collective acid trip. We're in the beginning stages, well before the big score but past the point of return. So, the boundaries are dissolving, we're starting to wonder if we're gonna die, and we think this hell will never end. Then sometimes we have these "fresh air" moments of hope, only to trample right down back again into the hell of our mind, our society.
Some of us are knowing what is coming and we sit quietly with subtle grin listening to Pink Floyd, some of us are freaking out even to the point of neurotic breathing patterns and a mind that wont slow down. . .and some are still completely unaware that anything is altered and are asking you, "Am I feeling it yet?" ;-)
But yeah, I tend to toggle between strained hope and ever-growing acceptance as time goes on. On the one hand I just want to work work work to get people waking up and being helpful, sort of help to ease the transition so to speak. Then on the other hand I just want to sort of kick back and let the world be the crazy dream that it is, people will either come around to the moment or they won't. Not my worry.
And that's basically the struggle that I deal with, and in between, around, and through all of that is the thread of synchronicity. . .That truly is something I don't count on, but I see it as something that is more and more a real part of my life.
I honestly wouldn't be here typing this right now were it not for the range of my synchronistic connections. I enjoyed you way of describing it as the result of our conscious ego dissolving into the true sound of being. Namaste my friend.
Obama=Hemp Pic:
http://www.blacklightintheattic.com/images/hemp.jpgwow
Thank You
In a state much like after Vipassana...
I wandered out of my jungle self retreat...Moving through the grief of the end of my relationship
And in some desperation for any sense of community or "signs from the universe" that everything is ok...
This article hit the spot.
That being said.YES!
Nothing to fix or get rid of...RIding on...Riding on.
Blessings all.
thank you RS and community.
"When the power of LOVE overwhelms the love of power, the world will know peace" - J.H
Emotions, Creativity & Synchronicity
Tony, your experiences strike me as multifaceted in terms of synchronicity. The collapse of your marriage was the emotional bomb that blew open the doors, much like an acid trip might, bringing that connection to the divine. But it was your creativity, that pumping adrenaline of the muse, that birthed the novel.
Trish MacGregor
www.tjmacgregor.com
www.ofscarabs.blogspot.com
intensity
It is obviously easier to embrace this collapse when the emotional intensity is that of falling in love (a good trip, I suppose, to continue the suggested parallel), but I think the process is the same in any event. In the face of emotional trauma or apocalyptic drama, many of us contract, resisting the intensity, thinking we're protecting ourselves, but perhaps it is the resistance to what's happening that sets the stage for what we might term a bad trip.
Incidentally, I'm just thinking aloud here. If I was freaking out with grief, I think the last thing I would want to hear would be to embrace the chaos.
Nonetheless...
Tony V
www.tonyvigorito.com
Pain- The Great Liberator
Hello Tony,
Superb article. You offered so many insights that it is difficult to comment specifically. I love that you share your 'personal' grief, your pain, which in my view is everyone's pain. Your pain is a part of the collective we are all experiencing and though I respect your views of it being personal, for me there is nothing personal in this integrated field we all share. Pain makes you my brother, and family to everyone on this planet.
I too have learned that deep heart-pain must be 'felt' and the mind (ego-self) is powerless to control it. This is a good thing and in my opinion, teaches the mind how to let go. We are forced to feel deeply thus escaping the constraints of the ego and in this we are able to further feel more subtle realms such as 'flow' or what many call synchronicity.
My personal journey of getting my ass kicked (pain) for most of my life has opened my heart to detect this most subtle realm I call flow. And because my run has evolved (or de-evolved) to living entirely in present-moment awareness, I now realize that every single moment has always been perfect synchronicity.
As you offer: there is no randomness. Existing in ego-centric awareness had 'me' believing that synchronistic events were random and therefore something to be on the look-out for. And as deep pain opened this precious heart of mine, teaching it (and the mind) to remember their greater feeling natures, I became aware that every single detail of my journey has and continues to flow precisely.
I agree; 'I' am not in control and as you (Tony) have offered: I too have no further need to hold to this fear-based illusion... And my mental-one is so happy to no longer be in a place of trying to connect the dots when the heart has shown it that they have never been disconnected. What respite!
For me, synchronicity no longer exists. It has always been flowing.
Blessings, dear brother, as we all go deeper.
Love, Andrea
Have Faith
Flow = smooth sailing?
I wanted to add that having discovered 'flow' as I decribe above is not about feeling constant bliss nor does it remove me from experiencing other forms of fear or difficulty. Far from it. I don't have a clue as to where this discovery is leading, if at all.
But because I now sense everything in sync, I feel the warmth of something unknown guiding me in every experience and this allows me (and my ego-mind) to accept every detail of my life as perfect. So, when the inevitable difficulties enter my life, they are no longer resisted nor do I have a preference for a different experience in that moment- truly. And I am no longer overwhelmed by anything. I have come to trust the idea of God perfectly and precisely spoon-feeding me with every detail in my life; to help me discover his Will- perhaps the only Will that exists. Freeing my once-prized notion of having a separate Will from Source has allowed me to sense this warm 'guidance' flowing through my being- always! Only in the ego's world of separation/duality did I maintain a false sense of freedom believing that my free-will existed. And this belief served me well...
I sense that the idea of 'Oneness' cannot be embraced by the intellect alone. And perhaps oneness may subconsiously represent a prison or a lack of freedom to the Mind. A sort of being 'assimilated by the Borg,' as in Star Trek. I can understand the ego being threatened by its concepts of wholeness or oneness.
I enjoyed McNuggetz's post as well as the depths found in Sancho23 and cjmoore's posts. If I may... I have to wonder what this quote offered by McNuggetz (and in the past by others) really means: "You can't have chaos without order!" I sat with this statement and breathed deeply- slowly allowing what was feeling 'outta sorts' for me. What if chaos is completely illusory and is only the product of our ego-mind's perceptions as wrong? Does the world of right and wrong, balance and inbalance exist as Tony intimates: through our resistance...? And if something is wrong or out of order then perhaps this is where the idea of control is birthed and understandably required. To me, the need for control is fear-based and therefore illusory in the realms that I now seem to journey within. Perhaps this is what is meant by letting go or surrendering as it is said in many spiritual circles.
There can be a lot of fear in opening our mental-doors to such vulnerability- our deepest fears... But without vulnerability how do we discover our true selves? If we open our doors will Something really and truly be there...? Will we be worthy or smart enough to meet God? Do we Egos 'die' in God-land?
Resistance to the Unknown in my book has thus been understandable and perfect. Blessings. Andrea
"You can't have chaos without order!"
Thanks for your words, many words-no clue, I share your discomfort with the decree that "you can't have chaos without order!" Chaos, I sense, and as I said, is an order unfathomable, which is to say, chaos is only that which exists outside the walls of the ego's presumption of control.
Tony V
www.tonyvigorito.com
Autobiography needs no outside help
Since I deem RS to be a writer's forum, I don't think it outside properness to share my thouhgts about this article. I deem this piece amongst the best writing I've ever encountered here.
I find it a little difficult to ingest an authentic autobiographical delineation couched in every-day language which suddently begins to encode its intended and honest 'resume' with 'sophisticated' or obstruse language wielding such terms as "quodlibet" on one hand; and on the other references extraneous expressions or theses like those of Terrance McKenna's or anyone elses' 'take' on reality. Or not even a 'take', but just others' honest autobiography.
I'm enthused by your own autobiography. I was disapointed when it seemed to devolve into reference.
In autobiography, there is no need to reference extraneous experience or experiencers. Either in order to summarize one's own or to substantiate that one's own experience has 'validity'. You are valid, I believe, all by yourself. No need for anyone beside you.
If we purport to speak from first hand experience or experiences, reference is, even, a kind of contradiction.
Something deeply personal shared with the world requires no talisman or something symbolic to render the self-known-facts substantive. Readership can believe or not believe as a matter of personal discressions. As we deem fit.
Any readership can connect to what is shared without having to have read what the autobiographer has read.
I just feel that what we have undergone needs to be strong and undiluted.
Otherwise, ones' readership might guess that someone is cleverly writing matter that is designed to appeal to the power or 'faculty' of emapthy as a mere 'hook' in order to promote some extention or remote purpose.
And this reduces to a commercial mentality or 'selling' flavor.
Anyone not intending such, may yet convey such due to changes of focus to either 'self-consciousness' or 'embarrassment' or flagging energy in the writing process. Diffusion of focus.
The 'autobiography' may only 'here and there' be relevant to the original honest divulgence and then fade out or away from the pristine facts of our first hand experience.
In other words: that the writer isn't any longer being truly 'autobiographical' but 'preaching' or 'proselytizing'.
Then that might be deemed, as I deem it, shooting ourselves in the foot.
At the risk of being redundant: In any autobiography things done or read can be meaningfully included as long as such delineation doesn't end up with us merely 'telling of self' as a mere 'channel' or cloning of other's conclusions.
This would rather be more akin to a tale of one's own being 'kidnapped'. And that would be a story read 'between the lines'.
Our pure and perfect (pure because it's ours and not anothers or not 'adulterated'; perfect because it is honestly and minutely laid out) or native voice of our experiences makes a much better read than some delineation of the ways and means of 'dealing' that devolve into the second-hand adaptations or accomodations of others.
That's all I'm saying. BSEW.
(beginning: strong. Ending: weak.)
acknowledgments
Presumed deconstructions aside, I appreciate your editorial feedback, Roger. I do think, however, that what one reads is a significant part of one's story, and it seems important to acknowledge where others have influenced one's thinking and experience.
Be well~
Tony V
www.tonyvigorito.com
Alan Watts
Yes indeed, Alan Watts is one of my favorites. Thanks for the reminder. I enjoyed your essay.
En-joy!
Tony V
www.tonyvigorito.com
well said
compression waves, boundary phenomena, and the trickster
Thanks for the insightful and engaging essay.
In my own experience, I have come to understand Synchronicity as a boundary phenomenon. In our individual journeys these coincidences spontaneously manifest when we pass into different stages of our lives or move into new emotional territory. As we approach these periods of transition, it is as if the psychic energy backs up against a boundary - a spiritual boundary that can only be intuited or inferred from one’s own personal or direct experience, one that arises from the dynamic relationship between the internal world of mind and external world of phenomenology, between ourselves and others, and amongst the various players acting within. The energy compresses and intensifies as we approach these boundaries, peaking in density as we cross the threshold, then rarefies or thins out once we have come out the other side. The synchronicities then slowly taper off and subside, and we move into the relatively steady stream of normal awareness - until the next wave hits. It never ceases to amaze me how consistently meaningful coincidences prefigure dramatic life changes or even periods of collective transition.
I visualize this process as one analogous to the propagation of a longitudinal or compression wave, such as sound vibrating through the air, areas of congestion moving through freeway traffic, or the series of compressions and rarefactions slinking through the coils of a Slinky stepping down a flight stairs. Only instead of traveling through a physical medium such as air, automobiles, or metal rings, synchronistic phenomenon propagate through our individual experience – our emotional perceptions, our intellectual awareness, our intuitive realizations, our personal narratives - and through the mythic substructure that girds our collective reality.
As this wave flows through our perceptions, it's as if the walls between the inner and the outer dissolve in apparent synchrony with the dissolution of our internal psychic boundaries - between the ego and the Self, or the personal and the collective. The boundaries grow porous, the built-up psychic energies percolate outward, and our interior thoughts and feelings appear reflected outside of ourselves. It may be understood as Erich Neumann describes in "The Origins and History of Consciousness," as a process of projection and introjection in which the contents of our interior spill out into the exterior world so that we might take them back in and perceive them as being magical, spiritual, significant, and all the more meaningful for having (seemingly) originated independently outside of us. In this way, these interior contents are transformed into powerful external experiences that orient us through time, helping us to steer a course from past to present and into the future. Synchronicities act as milestones along the way by the Self to ease our transition through transformational events, to cushion the boundary shock of a life change. They comfort us with the knowledge that we have ended up right where we’re supposed to be, and we emerge with the numinous energized and inspired with a renewed sense of purpose, direction, and creative imperative.
These are my own interpretations, of course. I claim no certainty. As liminal occurrences, synchronicities lie within the domain of the Trickster - that archetypal character encountered in myth as Hermes, Loki, Coytote, and Eshu – boundary figures who continuously cross the threshold between the physical and the spiritual, between the conscious and the unconscious. Therefore, one can never be too sure of one’s own conclusions. I suspect these highly subjective phenomena will forever remain elusive to any kind of quantitative, mechanistic, statistical, or empirical probing. They may even prove impenetrable to rational, reasoned, and objective analysis. It may be Synchronicity can be illumined only by the light of consciousness aimed inward during moments of quiet introspection.
story?
julesb, I like your framework for conceiving of synchronicity. I'd love to hear more on this, a story from your own life that inspired this thinking.
Tony V
www.tonyvigorito.com
Gratitude for the depths of diversity
I have to write about this... I so appreciate reading and especially feeling each post in reference to Tony's wonderful article. I am amazed and touched in my deepest depths by such truth flowing and none of it looks alike! Everyone is sharing their truth, an intimate piece of their spiritual quest. All of us are to some degree offering our vulnerability: daring to share our experiences and their interpretations as we journey deeper into the unknown.
In my opinion none of us know a damn thing and yet we are all searching together sharing how Source is pumping through each of us. Truth for us all no matter how it looks is truth for all, especially when each of us is in total acceptance of how it must be for another. We must all tell it as it is; this makes us family.
Look at the song that our poet-brother cjmoore sings in every sentence. He can't even write without singing; what a gift you are! And my dear brother RogerscottC; what a powerful reminder (for the heart) to honor our individual songs as perfect and perhaps even more precious because our personal experiences are what ultimately liberate us. What insight! And look at Sancho23's obvious depths as he offers deep experience without having to say so. Alokananda: thank you for exposing your precious heart through your grief and for the dance of your endurance and greater awareness. And a beautiful brother you are!- nice photo. And to you julesb, my dear sister/brother, to describe a world of perception that sings with academic flair; a poet's song in disguise and yet clearly felt. Thank you for exposing me to Source through such incredible concept. To McNuggetz once again: thank you for the courage of your honesty; to offer your truth of a "cop-out". And for this forum to honor what is presently flowing as truth through your plumbing.
geraldtp... I would love to hear about your loss -especially your pain- and certaintly of your eventual inspiration to continue in this ass-kicker we call life. No book necessary...
Thank you all for your contributions; to both my heart and ego's education. May we all recognize, therefore honor that our individual truths are temporary signposts -guiding us- and that they are not supposed to look alike... Let us stop comparing our songs to others who seem to be singing 'greater' or 'lessor' songs. Perhaps it is true that each song comes from the same breath; from Source.
Let us practice acceptance for all that is singing.
Thank you all.
Way with words-no clue
"For this forum to honor what is presently flowing as truth through your plumbing." Lol I like that, thanks. I feel like im out of my league around here. I'm not that psychedelic and of course I'm not a writer. Sometimes I draw out some comments but mostly I'm just ignored.
Thanks Tony for your interpretation of the synchronicity thing. Many words-no clue picked up the chaos and order duality and CJ and Jules ran with it. Thanks you guys. Roger I'm feeling the heavy presence of your disciplined mind, call it like you see it. We need guys like you around here.
This synchronicity phenom is so freaky. There's this article called Hungry Ghost Nation by Nate Summers on RS. I posted a crazy synchromystic comment on that article last week. I think that comment went completely unnoticed because it was just some crazy gibberish I was feeling that day. Today I am wondering if it's not just gibberish. I heard yesterday that Baxter International sent a live flu vaccine to 18 different countries. So what's the big deal with that? The vaccine contain live avian bird flu virus as in H5N1.
Scary shit is flowing through my plumbing right now. I don't know if it's real or what to do about it. What are you supposed to do with synchronicity when you are experiencing it? Is it a curse or a blessing?
Re: Gratitude for the depths of diversity
I second that. You prove the value of the age-old wisdom based on probably countless experiences, the good advice: a soft voice turns away wrath.
You are doing what probably underlies stuff accumulated over aeons of experience memorized and then rendered as writing. That saying: blessed are the peace-makers, they are the children of goodness (God).
In Vigorito's mild response to my posting: I'm truly impressed. Disarmed even. That was so nice.
Mild responses to a general vigor of frustration.
Again: I'm impressed.
I'd still be happier to hear less resortation to extraneous 'metaphysic'. And in that vein, i resent even my references to extraneous 'saws' because in doing so I may imply I believe that anyone's native thought couldn't arrive at such with no awareness at all of any bibble or any outside 'authority' or reading material. Not long ago, 'reading material' was restricted to less than one tenth of one percent of all humanity. Yet most people were kind and neighborly.
Otherwise, this thing I have, and assume you also have: consciousness, is based on some literature. And we'd have to assume all that other human life wasn't human. And as rediculous as that sounds, yet we think we are charitable by insisting on eliminating illiteracy.
Might have more to do with propogation of fantoms and myths or paradigms that enable sustenance of ways and means of pure and ugly profit. No?
I'll confess I once thought Stephen Spielberg was a hack and a talented 'profiteer'.
Today I forced myself to sit still and watch that one-time 'phenomenon' 'Amistad'.
My prejudice was highly injured. Indeed, even killed.
I saw his early work and blinded my mind's eye about this thing called 'growth'. I froze my own growth in response to early amateurishness he did do. In being ugly about him, I was ugly myself.
I don't know much else about this man. But after seeing this film today. I regret all my prior acrimony to him-wards. This film deserves the same level of praise I have here-to-fore reserved for only J.S. Bach.
By the viscistudes so-far undergone, this child has come to appreciate criticism, even when couched in such gentle terms as have been put forth by you and you.
I don't think it a bad thing to call BS on anyone. And in believing so, cannot object when being called an idiot. Even in a harsh way. You said it nice. You and Vigorito's ways. Nice. Doesn't make me want to recant of what I said, and hope what you two said wasn't just a way to justify going forward with diluted autobiography.
Tell the truth. Don't dilute it. Because, that truth is VERY, VERY interesting.
How's that for a 'soft voice'? Pal.
======================
Art is the pinnacle of science. Science the pinnacle of knowledge. Knowledge the pinnacle of experiment. Experiment the perogative of self-awareness. Self awareness: the basis of art. <
I think it's worth
I think it's worth mentioning that I'm considering your point-of-view as one of my more severe readers in the construction of my follow-up to this essay. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on that one as well.
Feel divine!
Tony V
www.tonyvigorito.com
Connected and Flowing
survival
monkeys
umm, being a human makes you a monkey...
Tony Vigorito
www.tonyvigorito.com
if you weren't being condescending..
yes
"...giving up of control, in surrendering to some chaotic process infinitely larger than myself, in realizing not only that I am not in control of my life, but also that I don't have to be."
I just had this surrender & realization 2 days ago, where i finally got that - i don't have to live up to my expectations for myself from 12, 5, or even 1 year ago...
it was a different world then, so to speak.
now, the blinders are off, & *i am*, no more... ever-ready to rise to what the moment demands.
I find synchronicity in that.
blessings all,melanie
Stories
Aren't people's stories wonderful? I could read you all like little books, like an epicure sampling tarts, and be so satisfied... Just this week, I came across some anthropological studies that were so interesting, I was compelled to blog about them in my little antrho blog I keep pretty much for my own benefit and reflection. The subject was the early human family structure, both how it came to be and how its existence shaped our psyches. The anthropologist argued that human babies evolved to be charismatic so we (especially the female of the species) would be compelled to care for them. This in turn favored mothers who were nurturing, attentive individuals. These 'feminine' traits, according to the anthropologist, are what ultimately led to our socialization as a species, rather than warfare or hunting. So my question to myself was, if this is at the core of what made us 'human' (that is, what drove our evolution from 'animal' to 'other'), then what does that say about me as a woman who doesn't want kids, or even feel drawn to children? The very next morning, I began an informational journey across the internet which led me to revisit some old writings about Jung's archetypes. The whole 'mother' archetype stood out, and I recognized the entanglement between this archetype and our mind's early evolution into an entity for which this archetype was an evolutionary boon. I realized then, there is nothing wrong with me being an un-motherly girl. But our minds have confused the archetype of 'mother' with the actuality of being female. One does not have to equal the other, but our psyches confuse the two and lead to problems for women who don't fit the mold we've been carving out for millennia. This may seem obvious to me now, but it was an eye-opener.
Of course, the article on Jung's archetypes contained information about synchronicity, which was satisfying to be reminded of, especially in light of the events of the past year. I too have had a great upheaval in my life (end of 9-year relationship), coupled with an awe-inspiring beginning (the meeting of my soul mate, a concept that this skeptic denied but can no longer ignore, thanks to amounting synchronicities and happenstances, dreams and 'future rememberings'). After absorbing some deep brain thoughts about synchronicity, I went back to exploring archetypes, which led me to Reality Sandwich. I had never been to this site before, but I have to say that the name had stood out to me in print once (some internet article or blog mentioned it), and it stood out because on my silly little myspace blog, the header says "words fall on the page of humanity like mayonnaise from the sandwich of conciousness". And then, synchroniously (?), I notice this article, and come here to read all your stories of upheaval and triumph and breaking down of boundaries. Awesome. How's all that for a full-circle of synchronicity? But I got a feeling folks that this circle is a slinky, and she ain't done looping yet.
The en-Tangled Web
Sharing pain and other vulnerabilities unite us...
Thank you again RogerscottC for your wisdom and especially for your vulnerability that is felt through your honest prose.
Vulnerability is admitting that we're all wounded, that we all have scars to prove it; just ask our hearts. Somewhere along this rugged path I fell to the ground unable to pretend with my life any longer. I wanted to vomit every detail that pretended to be 'fine, great, everything's good- look how happy I am.' Hell, I was so numb most of my life that I couldn't even feel the true joy of watching my children being born. I really thought I was f--ked up! The doctor (a better pretender at being excited) urged me to cut the umbilical cord - I didn't want to do it- but he insisted and it began to look awkward with my mother-in-law and wife urgently looking on. I gave it my best smile and cut the damn thing as the doc gave me a pat on the back saying, "you must be so proud." In that moment I was so angry and confused, and I wanted to run out of the hospital because god forgot to give me a heart. I wanted to cry not for the joy of my newborn but because I was a father who could not feel. What kind of curse was this? I knew what to feel; I had watched plenty of television. This was not supposed to happen.
My journey of course continued and my children (still) like me but keeping a stiff upper lip and not letting anyone see me sweat would continue as my mantras for surviving... Don't show our true feelings and never acknowledge them especially if they show 'weakness' or vulnerability. Its better to stay numb and pretend like the rest of us...
RogerscottC, my pal, I guess you could call this my "general vigour of frustration". Yes, this peace-keeper, child of god held a tremendous amount of rage, grief, hopelessness, blame, shame, guilt, unworthiness -you name it- because my 'successful' life (means I was making decent money) was running on pure facade, laced with surface joys (sex) and other material values. I was drowning -doing things right- and didn't even know it because the world told me to avoid my feelings; to not be so selfish. Hide your pain was the warrior- cry...!
Where am I going with this? Don't know. I do know that learning to be truly vulnerable took time and a willingness to discover my deepest fears, no matter how many monsters would be hiding in my closet. 'I' could no longer exist in pretense and 'I' needed to know who I was: monster or saint. And vulnerability was the only doorway to genuine self-discovery. What other way is there to heal if we can't even open the door and look inside? How do we face 'shame' and other debilitating fears if we are always putting on our game-face? In my view, vulnerability requires greater courage that surpasses all forms of warriorship. I come from the warrior-code but one day found the strength to leave my sword laying on the ground -somewhere along the way. It was heavy and made sure- that damn ' vulnerability' stayed away. A warrior is someone, right...?
You see, McNuggetz, I'm not that "psychedelic" either nor do my 2-yrs of high school English qualify me as a writer, but like you, I have a seasoned heart (took awhile to find) that perhaps knows all hearts through their bonds of pain and trial. And this is why you, dear brother, and everyone else 'qualifies' to share on this site; you are truly family.
RogerscottC, you referred to Tony and me as "nice" and we are nice people -it shows- thank you. The only difference for me is that I no longer fear my monsters (rage, hate, shame, frustration, blame, fear, etc.) landing to prove otherwise. In other words, I really accept that I am a nice, gentle, compassionate being but only because I opened my doors to vulnerability and allowed my monsters to breathe, to be free. I acknowledged every one of them ( and continue to do so) and found a way to assist in their transformation.
And finally to you Santiago, who offers your truth of stepping out and "failing in this delusion". Yes, dear brother... perhaps you were spared having to go out into the world to far like many of us, before we too had to turn back and begin again. What is really available to plug into as this world begins to reveal its illusory nature? It sounds like your heart is wise and perhaps senses the fultility of trying to jump onto a ghost-ship; one that I suspect will sink soon in a greater, loving reality.
Thanks for letting me ramble.
big Resonnance.. So nice...
Yes ! The night is getting to an end. It's good to knows and feel and resonnate this mandala of infos and people. I speak from the heart. I had to register so I could speak a bit for some silent people out there, and say Yes ! I, we resonnate. I, we, hold the Space with our Resonnance. I get my Vision out of the sphere of my localized effect and knows a multidimentionnal Whole of it all..
thanks for Being !
We'll see this deal through.. Peace, Love & Potatoes
P.S. I believe the article " The Age of Uncertainity" to be right on the moment, too.. I intent great sincerities and truth to us all. Be blessed..
thanks
Tony Vigorito's Article
There is something about growth
I don't recall where now, somewhere here on RS tho', someone talked about 'system' and 'systematics'.
Bertalanfy wrote extensively on this.
In Spalding's 'tour de force': The Life and Teachings of the Masters of the Far East': the man 'Emil' talks about the efficiency of 'system'.
We did an analysis of this series of books, which are almost certainly challenges to laws against 'plagiarism', and yet found the over-all of the statements collected there showed internal evidence of a continuously re-iterated principle. Hence: of a thinker whose 'thesis' was his or her own 'finger-print'.
This 'finger-print' tells one basic point: that personalizing a law or principle reduces ad adsurdum to stagnation of growth of living people.
And so this statement about the efficiency of 'system' became a node in the tabulation of the many different statements put forth in this tour de force.
It was tempting to think, for me at least: this could be a kind of remnant of actual experiences. Yet at the same time thought of the putative 'Q' document that is presumed to underly the four 'gospels' of the New Testament.
Well, nobody came up with any final answers beyond: this was a very clever writer.
Needless to say: cannot be confirmed: cannot be denied.
One associate felt Spalding was a pathological liar.
Whatever. Idiot savante, like Allende and the editorials of the work by Jessup: people thought that that was three different people or maybe more. Funny.
The methods of research where any learner is interested in more fully informing their thinking despite known proclivities or tendancies: so as to be OBJECTIVE: we must have a systematic method of research and an easily accessible RECORD of what we've collected or thought about what we collected.
So, for one way: while reading a blog keep a note-pad (It can be a 'client' like "Super Pad" or "EditPad") or even a 'real' note-book with obligatory writing utensil (that old fashioned way to which I'm addicted) open and at hand to write the otherwise distracting links down for later perusal. Cut and paste and date the file for that day and save for a later hour or day.)
Then we do have a SYSTEM that prevents us from being overwhelmed by the streams of information.
All information takes time to digest just as much as any food does, beyond pure sugars.
In the viscisitudes of this kind of work I've found my own tendancy to a conclusion the hardest of all to resist. Such mind set does - - - I can say OFHE (on first hand experience) - - - shut down the receptivity of the brain (eyes) and so thereby the facility of both the senses to say nothing of the sensibility of the entrapped consciousness. Then 'synchronicity' begins to speak, it seems to me, to us. Whereupon we may become fearful and superstitious and then thereafter may lie: madness.
WE HAVE TO TAKE NOTE OF HOW WE THINK AND SENSE AT ONCE. And begin to deal with this stuff: consciousness without also jumping to unproven or erroneous conclusions.
Scientific method has amongst its time-proven components that by communication with others, taking recourse to experiment and willingness to take our own conclusions with a grain of salt and also, seemingly contradictorilly (sp?), also trust our experiences despite what others may pronounce (because they might be MORE blind than us) . . . . you know where this is going.
Right, pal/pals?
======================
[Obligatory cutesy quote here] <
I am full with hope
Sated. Disatisfied.
'Faith' and 'faiths', 'hope' and 'hopes' that go, evidently: nowhere. Know what I mean?
Sleep-walking, putting all energy into the blind-eyes while refusing to even try and open the 'piercing' eyes? kind of thing?
Seems so real. 'Senses' tell, like, so much!
Not.
How many people have laid abed with visions of hopes but ended with the 'ending' of the ones thy love, instead?
And the heart palpitates.
Then: what is feared the most: comes upon us!
Well! Why not fear joy?
WE, we 'lovers', WE empower ALL our 'faiths'.
Be our 'faiths': good; be our 'faiths' bad: what we put most force upon: that comes upon us. And not just 'us': but those we, supposedly, 'love' and thereafter wrongly done: had.
Then we 'rue'.
We bring forth what we gaze upon.
Jacob cast sticks in water while the animals bread. And what these mere 'beasts' drank: brought forth what they gazed upon again. In their offspring. Their kin.
But us 'men', male and female, we think us 'immune' to such automata cum occulata. So-called 'rune'.
Really!?
Indeed!?
Yet let one of us, just one: gain 70, 80, 90: do we not imagine or deem, even most faith-fully think: 'then end comes soon!?
And such 'faith' by numbers grows, and presses down on even opposers.
And so you prophecy and you even 'spell' on purpose: others' DOOM.
That is the 'drum beat', that is the general 'song'.
A 'dirge': most anti-Christ. By me: I deem such WRONG!
EVIL.
And so, due to number or 'majority': some buy that.
So that is an 'out' for those who do such evil.
Had 'they' been aligned aright: nothing externally thought could be deemed: wrong. They simply were not 'strong'.
Not!
Not!
NOT! my friend.
Who may feed on fear, you propogate it too!
You feed not on 'death', and death is 'natural', to you.
So: buck up! You are 'right'! Seeing the proof in collective might.
As you conceive, and in what you conceive with either fear or even loathing: what is coming is coming by your own acceded 'sight'!
So, I'll only quote and re-ask: why not feed on death that feeds on 'men': and death, once dead: there's no more dying then!?
Or what?
Kick yerselves in the arse. Like, again.
frin.
Repent! The curse of a bad idea is the idea itself. As easy as changing one's mind. And making mind obedient to will. And let the will be loving.
Or: ill.
We, ALL OF US, are well advised: REPENT. Rue.
Rue.
Rue.
. . . and so: change for a better state: where physical deaths are no excuses, and character developes away, ever away, from unavoidable abuses.
How much easier to just grow from where we are?
Yesterday is yesterday, and tomorrow: not that far!
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ABC; 123: Let's Go
Great article!
Synchronicity and vulnerability