Andrew Boyd's blog

[Pilgrimage to Nowhere] • After five days at the Thai meditation retreat, I had yet to find a proper teacher. When I met Roger, I launched into a capsule version of my checkered spiritual past, the eclectic influences; my suspicion of organized religion. As best as I could, I described the harrowing quality of those early mystical experiences. "It was as if I had died," I told him. "You did die," he said with a big smile. (more)

[Pilgrimage to Nowhere] • "Doi Suthep is the third richest monastery in Thailand. There's a lot of tourist and other money flowing into this place." "The plot thickens." "Money..." "Intrigue..." "And embezzlement." "And murder!" "Murder?" (more)

[Pilgrimage to Nowhere] • My meditation practice was crap! I was going nowhere, sliding backwards, even. And the picture of myself that emerged -- riven with pettiness and vanity and shame and self-absorbed desires -- was not pretty. I was beyond frustrated. I felt sad and defeated. And to think: the brochure had promised freedom from suffering. (more)

[Pilgrimage to Nowhere] • With the beautiful view, all meals provided, and the programmed group activities, it almost felt like a resort. But the only sport here was pantomime walking; the only relaxation, brute force sitting... With its rough lodgings and reveille at 4 a.m., Doi Suthep felt more like a Buddhist army barracks – a boot camp for the mind. But what army would make head-shaving optional? (more)

Like any half-literate member of the counterculture, I was theoretically part Buddhist. So I went to a Thai monastery to see what would happen sitting in silence day after day after day. Would I walk out of this spiritual boot camp slightly more realized, slightly more adult? (more)